Me and my bf are trying to spice up in the bedroom

But…. While I’m excited he brings up dumb shit … like how big my ex was because I told him when we started dating he was Asking me questions I told him that my ex had a very big dick but he didn’t know how to use it and I was not experienced and it didn’t feel good for me …. Well anyways I bought myself a vibrator and nipple clamps I used it with him and then he said he wanted to order dildo because he knows he doesn’t last that long sometimes and he wants to use that after so that’s why he got it …. Well we tried that yesterday he said how big was your ex saying I bet he was this big I said almost but wasn’t good like you he was going on and saying some stuff I forgot and I said are you doing this because you want to or because you feel some type of way towards that…. He said “ I’m always not gonna like the fact that he was bigger than me and that you did more things with him “ I said ok well that was like 10 years ago I’ve been dating you for 7 why do you care I like your dick you have an 6 inch which I like because my ex was uncomfortable and not satisfied at all he my bf actually has make me really went even have finished myself …. Anyways yesterday I was giving him a blow job and using my vibrator … after he had said something stupid I don’t exactly remember I wish I did and I said “I used my vibrator which made me finish not you” he turned around pissed off at me I said the truth like I was using it , it wasn’t his dick … I had to talk to him today I said if it bothers you that much about the toys and trying new things out just tell me because you’re making it about yourself and whatever you have in your head I can tell you I like your dick and our sex life but you’ll still feel some type of way…. He said he thinks I’m lying because I don’t moan loud like I do when I use my vibrator I said well first of all we finally started putting the kids in there room to play while we are in the room so I can and I can concentrate on myself …. Idk what he has on his head I can’t help him I said I was sorry about the vibrator comment but he just thinks he doesn’t please me in bed when he’s the best I’ve ever had both my exs only cared about themselves and he actually cares about me finishing which I think is important … my first had a really big dick but didn’t know how to use it and he had horrible hygiene I mean I was dry as a desert with him …… My second was small asf I mean as small as a women’s finger lol sorry not sorry and also had bad hygiene…. My man is average and has good hygiene and knows how to use it Anyways what can I do for him to stop feeling like this ?

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All I have to say is never ever be honest about an ex with your current boyfriends. Men might ask the questions but you should never tell about past experiences. It hurts their egos very deep down. Most men are insecure about themselves in a sexual way. With that being said you already went there. I personally get off more with external stimulation than just penetration. So just explain what feels good for you. Vs what is good for him. Sex definitely shouldn’t just be one sided so yes you want things that feel good for you and he wants things that are good for him. It sounds like you both make sure each others needs are met. Her needs to just be comfortable with himself but make sure you never hurt his ego when talking about sex. Talk about it don’t back lash if he has had a rude comment. Relationship should be a give and take. I doubt this will help much but it just a reminder to keep your communication open but sometimes don’t be too open when it comes to the bedroom.

He’s not gonna stop feeling like that because he’s insecure. He has to work on that himself.

@Elysha yes I regret telling him but I’m a honest person …. He also had partners before me but it was just a one time thing with them and he would say he actually was so nervous that he wouldn’t stay up or last long and with me when we met I didn’t make any ugly comment or make him feel down because I was nervous too and I just told him we can try again after that our sex life was awesome but I think because he knows I’ve had more sex then him with my exs he feels that way while he only had like 7 times with 7 different girls and one of them actually told him something rude … we’ve been together 7 years 2 kids we literally do it everyday I have a high sex drive …. But idk what is making him feel so down but I do think that we need to sit down and talk together about it but I’m worried I’ll say something he doesn’t like

@Nathalie that’s a big thing I just think it’s stupid to be insecure about someone in my past that was bad in bed but I guess it’s just because he was big … because he does tell me what if now he is good in bed and knows how to use it I’m like that doesn’t matter what matters is that when I did have sex with him it wasn’t great

Exactly like come on now it was what 10 years ago. You choose your bf and it’s not like you’re gonna go back to your ex. He just has to improve his mindset and that’s on him. You can reassure him many times and not much is gonna change.

The vibrator is his ally not enemy

It’s ok to be honest but sometimes with men and this subject it’s ok to not be as honest. It’s a lot more damaging to them than any of us will realize. But yes sit and talk to be gentle with the subject and his feelings. I definitely had a lot more partners than my husband ever has. We too have been together 7 years.

@Katrina right !!!

@Elysha yes we talked about it and he felt better after using the dildo tell me why this man told me did you even notice that I put it in a little but more I said honestly no he said wow do that extra 2 that he has on me doesn’t matter …. I said no but you’re not gonna believe me he said no I do because you didn’t notice I feel better about that I was testing you I said well that’s not fair to be but I’m glad you got what you wanted

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