Partner isn’t taking any of this seriously…
Sorry for the rant but I’m so stressed out. I’m 5 months pregnant with twins and an autoimmune disease. That alone means the pregnancy is higher risk than normal.
We live in different cities and it was a planned for me to move to his, because of his work and extra bedroom.
But it’s been months and nothing is yet decided. He needs to make space for some of my things and also for the babies. We need to sell stuff and prepare everything.
I can’t move until at least that’s done. But he keeps saying he’s busy and doing one thing a week or nothing at all.
He thinks I want to spend my whole pregnancy on this moving stage, going from one place to another and that it’s easy for me to change my medical care at like 7 months pregnant, when it’s likely I could even go into labour then.
He’s currently got a week off and just mentioned going away for a few days. On his own I might add. I got so mad. He told me he was just thinking and not going anywhere. And how it’s his last time to do anything because after babies are here he’ll be with us 24/7 and that again we have time.
I’m so fkn fed up. I just don’t know how to get through to his head that we need to get this done and make time to set everything in place. He keeps being defensive. I want to settle now, not when the babies are here. I need time and he keeps wasting it and ignoring everything I’m saying and not listening at all. I’m telling him how stressed and tired I am and he gets mad because ‘I just put the things up for sale’. Literally nothing has been done other than him posting something online. He thinks he’s done so much. And I’ll add, he only posted it because I took the time to take those photos and made him post it.
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But just worry about what you can control. Give him a date and let him do his thing there. You have 2 action plans ready to go because that is what you can control.
Shelley has given good advice. You will continue to be stressed if you rely on the unreliable, so rely on yourself and do what's within your reach. Anything outside of that, you're going to have to let it go to remain sane. A lot of your energy will be taken up by chasing him, instead of looking after yourself. I'd forget about the plans of moving in with him until he proves to you that he's doing what he needs to do.
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Twins alone is high risk and twins typically always come early and with you being high risk I would want to be setting no less than 6 months, plus changing OB and being high risks is no easy feet. I would let your current OB know and go ahead and look at providers in his area and and get what you can on that side taken care of and see if tou can get copies of your medical records now and just keep getting all records after each visit. But also talk to uour OB about the issue, like when they think you should be there and what time frame if you haven't moved yet that you should just stay till delivery. Once you have a time frame for them on your window, just tell him you have till this X day to have everything ready and if not I have to stay here till babies are born. At end of day you need to look out for you and babies health. So have a plan B for staying set up as well. Control what you can. Have a Plan A (moving time and having new OB ready for action) and a plan B (staying put).