Would you be annoyed by this?

Want your thoughts on something. At the stay & play we go to they do singing time for the last 10 minutes or so. A couple of weeks recently they used a box with pictures in and the kids choose a picture and we sing the song the picture relates to, a sleeping bunny for the song sleeping bunnies for example. The problem is the group is much too large so not all the kids get to choose a picture/song. The first week my daughter didn't get to choose one even though she desperately wanted to. Ok fair enough, there's lots of kids she can't have a turn every week. The next week is when it starts to bother me. They did lots of action songs (grand old duke of york, head shoulders knees & toes etc) which for once my daughter was full of beans and joining in. She's very shy & often doesn't join in. They then passed over giving her a turn because she wasn't sitting quietly in between songs. She did go & sit down because they asked her to, but they were already giving the box to another kid and she still didn't get a turn & was bitterly disappointed at the end again. Do you think it's reasonable for them to only give the box to 0-4 year olds sitting nicely in between action songs or am I right to be annoyed by the way they treated my daughter?

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I would be annoyed! As someone who's child is painfully shy this kind of exclusion just makes things so much worse for her!

I would be annoyed too. She was excited and showing enjoyment of the group and then punished for it.

I'd be really annoyed too. Maybe say something to the people who are running it. If she went and sat nicely when asked and yet they still offered it to someone else that's awful. What's that supposed to teach her. I'm not saying children deserve a reward everytime they do something good as they'll expect it then. But passing her over like that will teach her why bother to sit still. Hope she's OK and this doesn't put her off and make her more shy.

I would be annoyed. I went to a stay and play today.. we did the same thing at song time but it was lovely and relaxed, all the children were up and about they even got a child to pick a picture whilst she was having a melt down because they wanted to try and cheer her up. I’m really surprised they expect everyone to sit down quietly at the place you go to. They are toddlers?! 🙈

I’d make a point of asking next time for your daughter to get to choose a song: and I’d explain why… if they say no then don’t stay till the end and don’t go back again

@Katie that's what really annoyed me, they wanted them to join in action songs (& my daughter was the only one joining in that week), but then if they want a turn to choose a song they have to sit back down again. Expecting that of babies & toddlers is nuts!

No it’s ridiculous to expect any child to sit still and quiet! There not meant to at that age it’s about exploring pushing boundaries etc i would be saying something xx

@Daniella no, they don't expect them to sit still. They expect them to march & jump around to the action songs and Then sit down quietly in between, which is worse!

I think all you can do here is just have a chat with the person leading the room. I mean I wouldn't be so offended by it personally unless my child was visibly upset. Kids are crazy, leading a kids class is crazy. She probably just does what easy to move the session on. So unless you advocate for your child, the woman probably doesn't notice she misses her every time.

@Jodie it's not that she didn't get picked 2 weeks in a row that I'm annoyed about. It's that she didn't get picked because they expected her to go & sit down quietly in between big loud action songs. & it's a council run session so they're trained qualified professionals (there's always at least 2 in a session) running it. & my daughter was very upset but she was quiet about it not screaming throwing a tantrum because she's too shy.

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