Complex situation

Me and my baby dad relationship really hit the fan since the baby. on top of PPD, not being able to see eye to eye, disagreement in parenting styles. We have been struggling financially ever since I left for maternity leave. We make pretty good money but our debt to income ratio is ridiculous. We make about 12,000 a month however paying nearly $10,000 in bills, loans, car notes, rent, day care, groceries and student loans. Etc. I hate that we moved to his state for his job and I took a major pay cut & also hate my job here. Plus he travels a lot for his job and I will often left for a week or so at a time to work full-time hours and full-time mom will baby is at a daycare. I’m struggling and need more support and money. I’ve honestly been thinking about moving back with my parents and Getting a job back in my hometown where I could make more money and pull myself out of debt. And also, I have some free time to myself once in a while with friends, as I have no friends and family out here. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, because I really want us to work out, and I hate to take son away from him. But a part of me is so lonely and helpless I need support and I feel like he’s not really able to give us because he’s so busy working overtime. I also feel like I need to be around familiar people and places as my transition to motherhood has been hard without my village. But also afraid that we’ll go apart and I never wanted to raise my son in two different homes- but I will if I have too. Am I selfish for wanting to leaving???

Show your support

I don't know if what I have to say will be helpful but here is my situation: I got married. Had twins. We moved for him to have a different job and for us to try to find some happiness in an area...a few times. I think I had some PPD, too. My twins were micropreemies and one had significant health needs. I was, and am, so very lonely. And I think that definitely had an effect. My husband recently left me and wants a divorce and it has made me think a lot about my feelings during the relationship. If you are married, I would say do everything y'all can to fix it and let him into your thoughts/feelings. Lord knows I know what it feels like to be blindsided. If you aren't married and you truly cannot see yourself with this person forever, I think you know leaving would be good. But it seems like maybe you aren't unhappy with him, just the situation. Your situation throughout your relationship could change multiple times. If he is a solid dude, man, you are lucky.

@Cheri very unhappy with our situation & don’t know If it’ll get worse before it gets better which is why I think we should just be apart & I get myself together. I’ve had so much rage resentment towards him over our situation which is definitely wrong of me. But I don’t feel like I have the support from him really. But we love eachother dearly and I’m scared for him to feel like he’s happier without us. Sorry your going through this especially while feeling alone. That’s a horrible feeling but I’m here if you need to talk

I hear you. I do. I had resentment, too. And the moment he left, I realized so much I was upset about was insignificant. I guess my only thought is to make sure he knows your thoughts/feelings and maybe try to work on things before making such a final decision. But that is just me. I don't know all, of course :) Message me!! I see you as incognito

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌