Help!!!

Hi ladies, this is not about me but I would really just appreciate some help!! My bestfriend found out she was pregnant last month, it was an accident but she is over the moon, she lost her mum last year and her due date is her mums birthday so it’s so special!!! The problem is her partner, he is just a horrible human being, he’s 33 has never worked and doesn’t want to work, he is happy living off her and she allows this, she has asked him on lots of occasions about going to work but nothing ever happens and it’s like a vicious cycle. I categorically would not stand for it nor would I want to be with someone like that but she’s not me, my partner and I have encouraged her to kick him out but she won’t, her life would be so much easier if he wasn’t in it but here we are. I am over the moon for her, our babies will be 3 months in age difference and it’s so lovely having this bond with her, however I just don’t think this is the right thing and I just know he won’t pull his weight, he doesn’t even look after the dog they have and sleeps in til 12-1pm everyday, has already told her he doesn’t like she’s putting on weight and commented on how bad her skin is, he really is just awful. How do I say politely I just don’t think this is right, I will support her through anything and everything she goes through but I am just struggling with this because I know it’s not right & I know she will be a single mum regardless of if they stay together. I’m so scared for her because parenting is so hard sometimes and I don’t want her to not be the best person for herself and her baby because her man child is an asshole.

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Oh this is a tough one..your friend will react either one of two ways. She’ll either be grateful for you saying something and giving her a wake up call, or she’ll lash out and won’t appreciate what she will as unwanted advice. It totally depends on your friend’s personality and how you think she would react. In some cases it’s better to just be there for when she needs you and he lets her down, but I also know it’s hard to ignore your friend being treated that way!

Sounds like you have said to her she should get rid of him already so continuing to say it might just drive her away from you. All u can do is be there for her when she needs to talk and when she comes to her senses on her own terms

Stay out of it. Just say you support her if she choices to raise the baby single handedly .

@Jay Agreed. Unfortunately people have to come to these decisions on their own. 😭 Definitely state that his behaviour is completely unacceptable in every way if she brings it up, otherwise it's letting her know you have her back.

Such a tough one, but she’s going to do what she wants to do regardless of your opinion so I wouldn’t stress over it. It’s her life 🙏🏼♥️

Thanks ladies, just so tough she deserves the entire world and more and he just doesn’t give it to her which is so sad to watch

Sounds like the time for being polite is kind of over... Doesn't mean you can't be kind but time for god honest truth. But as said above, people have got to make these decisions themselves. If she moans about him/says she's unhappy that's when you the brutal honesty comes. If she's happy with this set up,. despite how you feel then you gotta leave it alone. If she's moaning/unhappy then you gotta say your piece!

You already tried , you are a good friend. Now I would allow her to see it by herself, if he is as awful and useless as you described, as soon as she will have the baby she will realised she is on her own. Or maybe he will have a wake up call and finally get his things together. I would just keep supporting her , point out things that he does that not right but don't insist too much to don't lose your friend. Be there for her and she might see it from herself

I’m sorry to say but it isn’t for you to say anything. You don’t know what happens behind closed doors. If she wanted him to work he would be working or she wouldn’t be with him. The fact she is allowing it says she is ok with it. Just be happy for her, she doesn’t need negativity when find out she’s pregnant.

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