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I’m under safeguarding midwives because of my past and that apparently requires them to be involved so I don’t “repeat the cycle of abuse” even though a child who’s experienced abuse would want to give their child everything they didn’t have. I’m nearly in my third trimester and they decide now is appropriate to get involved when the house is upside down from all the baby stuff and nesting stage kicking in 🤦♀️ I’m so frustrated and my mental health is getting worse because of it
It's silly. You're not necessarily going to "repeat the cycle of abuse" just because of your past. 😢 It's just their criteria. It's all tick boxes and what is more likely vs what is unlikely. I'm so sorry this is happening to you! 💕 And They class everyone as abused these days aswell (Or it seems that way to me - my ex wasn't even an abuser, and I have never been abused in my life!) Yet they're still on my back. The house will need to be cleaned in order to make a good impression on them though. I can't stress that enough. They do look at the house, and the kids. If their clothes are washed and dried and if they're cleaned and ironed.. they look at the small stuff. But try not to get stressed. It can all be done in time and the job you do will be the best job you can do. Its scary but I prommise they will back off eventually if they can't find fault. X
Do you have any tips on the main stuff they will be looking for? The house is clean it’s just cluttered, all baby clothes are washed and I have a steam cleaner for clothes on the way so they’re even more clean. I have tons of wipes, nappies. I have at least 18 bottles, steriliser, bottle warmer, I have my Moses basket and next to me cot too. I even have a first aid kit so I’m hoping it will be an open and shut case but I know they can try and trick you so I’m just wondering if you’re aware of anything they will try and catch me out on? Xx
They will look more at you than anything. If you're calm. Your body language and how you behave. But if the house is sorted, cleaned and you have all the equipment you need for a newborn and answer their questions appropriately they should back off eventually. They wont try to trip you up. Its not a test. They do try to keep baby with mum as much as they can even though their whole process is daunting and it doesnt feel that way 💓
Okay thank you lovely that makes me feel a lot better 💗
I'm really nervous to have them involved, I had previous children removed when I was a 16 year old mum, I was really struggling, I did the silly thing of asking social for help, it's been 10 years now and they said they want to do an assessment before baby gets here but I'm not sure what they will be looking at, but I live I completely different life now and I'm an adult, so hoping I get signed off quickly not sure what's gonna happen yet x
@Sarah I wish you all the luck! I’m so sorry about your other children just know it wasn’t your fault 💗
I'm under social for no reason what-so-ever. They justified it just because im a single mum (who isnt these days? I have a diagnosis of bipolar. Which isn't even that bad by the way. Im on a very low dose of a mood stabaliser. Just like anyone else who has a minor diagnosis of depression. My baby isnt even born yet by the way. Its bloody rediculous. You have to play allong with what they want and nod your head like a puppy. Its horrible but it works. Be polite and understanding and always try to smile lightly when talking. It's a rediculous rollercoster. They have alot of power so you basically have to jump through hoops. I wish you all the best ❤️💕 I truly do. The services are blood stupid sometimes. Or in my case, they have been anyway. Im also under domestic abuse midwives. Again, for no reason at all. Dad isnt even in the picture. No man is. How am I being domestically abused when dad hasn't spoken to me for 6+ months? 🤨 I'd love to know.