Am I being ungrateful?…
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@LOVEE thanks for taking the time to reply. I understand what you’re saying, I wish I didn’t feel like this, believe me But I’d be lying if i said I wasn’t disappointed with the gift. But yes will get over it, and will try to focus/ appreciate the other things she’s done for me in my life.
Yes, sometimes we want big extravagant but honestly, it is so crazy. I’ve never received gifts in my life so when I do have a friend that shows up with a gift, I am very excited to have that gift recently my birthday came up and one of my friends got me some house shoes and a little lingerie set and another one got me some flowers. I was super thrilled and super happy. I felt super special because I never get gifts not from anyone not for my family orAnyone, so someone does a gift I am super excited
What does she normally get you? Is she struggling financially? Maybe suggest not doing gifts from now on. I don’t think there is anything wrong with what she’s given however I wouldn’t be spending a lot of money on her going forward.
I think she should have got you a decent gift . If you normally get her something good . No excuses there’s Amazon/ Etsy etc
Hmm.. Your feelings are totally valid. When your level of thoughtfulness isn't reciprocated, it sucks - you're only human. I agree with Karen, going forward, I wouldn't spend so much on her. Give the same energy she gives. Maybe then she'll realise the effort you made for her previously. Happy belated birthday also 🥰💗
Yes that’s being ungrateful, friendship should not be based on money spending let alone comparing whose spent more money, maybe she has struggles with money? I couldnt afford my bestfriend other than flowers for her birthday this year because I’m expecting a baby and have a lot going on, she still got me a bundle of stuff and even baby shower on top. Situations in life changes and I know she knows that she means the world to me even though I ”only” got her flowers. We’ve been best friends for over 20 years and no gift ever would tell anything about our friendship.
@Janina I did imply that she is not struggling financially. She got a GoPro for the new couple, and had just recently purchased a new fireplace. She has also got a new promotion in her job and goes on plenty of trips away. She does seem to scrimp out on me though. I’m not a monster, ofc if she was struggling financial I wouldn’t even be typing this. But yeah just felt hurt that she came to my bday with a small box of chocolates. She handed it to my husband alongside my card, not even to me. Your point seems like it’s fine if she struggling financially. (Which I agree with) but what if she isn’t??
@Karen @Jay @Sudanny✨ thanks ladies. I think going forward I just need to reciprocate how I’m being treated. I feel I should be giving the same energy back. Thank you
Well even when I don’t struggle financially after being friends for so many years I honestly struggle to get presents for my best friend, I just wouldn’t get mad about it, maybe she just had no idea what to get to you and the thought is what counts 🤷♀️
@Janina I know the high moral ground is the best to take. It’s just hard when she’s my best friend (so totally knows what I like) and has usually put more effort in. Hence why I’m a little upset as this time she didn’t put effort in. I thought that was fair.. but fair enough
Like I said I’ve been best friends with my bf for over 20 years and I definitely sometimes don’t know what to give to her, even though I definitely know her very well. I personally just feel like giving gifts as an adult is not that important as it was when we were kids and teenagers, it’s just material and has nothing to do with the real meaning of friendship. I do get your point but I feel like you give too much value for the idea of giving gifts, maybe you should tone it down in the future? 🤞🏽
Plus if this was the first time she didn’t “put effort” I think it’s a bit harsh to react this big, if it was always something forced and nothing personal I would maybe think of it twice.
@Janina I haven’t reacted. I had typed on here asking if I was being ungrateful from fellow ladies and listening and taking input. I didn’t type to be judged for asking advice( you saying I’m being harsh for reacting this big is just a little unnecessary as I haven’t reacted to anything. Just simply asked for advice)
You’re reacting over a chocolate box, yes you are having a reaction because you even think if you’re being ungrateful or not. I’m not saying anything bad about you I’m just saying how I see this situation which was what you were asking for? My advice is to not give that much value on exchanging gifts as an adult because friendship is so much more than any material gifts. And now that clearly my opinion is not what you wanted to hear you think I’m not being nice 😅
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@Janina the lady at the start had a different opinion to mine, and I took it on board, because she wasn’t judgey. You’re just here to be judgemental and bored and need to argue. I haven’t ‘reacted’ over the chocolate box. I asked for useful advice as I am aware that it could just be me being ungrateful. Being ungrateful is a feeling/emotion. It’s not a reaction.
The First Lady literally said you’re being ungrateful as well? And when I say so you have an issue. FYI Emotions are conscious mental reactions. I’m not here to argue I was here to answer how I see things, now I feel like you’re being unreasonable towards me because I didn’t even say anything bad.
Maybe she’s trying to subtly tell you she doesn’t want the expensive gifts? Also, the things she purchases could be thoughtfully and carefully planned and saved for. She may be ok financially but she may want to save or invest her money in something you’re not aware of. I have had a very good job however I only purchased things I really wanted and saved a shittte load to buy a house, so I wouldn’t go to dinner, buy clothes, get a coffee, buy gifts buuut I would go on holiday and get a brand new Mercedes.. What I’m trying to say is, what you got for her is lovely and I’m sure she appreciated it. But I’d scale back from now on You sound like a great friend. I honestly think that’s enough 💕 A nice box of chocolates and a thoughtful card would be a great gift for you to give to her next time xx
@Emma I never thought of this, thank you.. I will scale back going forward but do appreciate the effort. Thank you for your advice xx
Honestly, you are being very ungrateful. Life is not all about gifts and what people buy you. You should be grateful that she stopped by for your birthday and made it a special day for you if a person buys you a gift you just say thank you and be appreciative You don’t count everything you have done for a person. Everyone is different and you don’t know what she’s been going through or you don’t know her income or whatever the case may be it was to bring a box of chocolate just because you give her expensive or different kind of gifts doesn’t mean she has to match you as long as she is your friend and she cares about you. You should be grateful and love her for her. That is my opinion honestly one of my friends come around for special occasions. I am just grateful that they showed up. Life is so busy and when people prioritize you over other things that is super sweet