How to accept gifts/help from people
I don't know what it is but if someone offers to help me in some way or wants to buy me something I feel absolutely terrible and have to say no, even if I would love to of accepted I just can't bring myself to let anyone buy me anything. For example my partners parents offered to pay a few hundred towards taking our daughter away for her first holiday, which is insanely generous of them! Our daughters never been on holiday and I'm so desperate to take her away but I just couldn't accept the help, so god knows when we will ever get to take her. I'm like this with everything, when it comes to Christmases, birthdays, I tell people not to get me anything and if they do it has to be the cheapest thing going. I feel like if I say yes I might owe people something, or it'll be used against me, what if I don't sound grateful enough and they're offended etc. How can I get over this hurdle? What's acceptable in terms of gifts to say yes to and what's not? I feel awful now because my daughters missed out on her first holiday so just looking for some advice/tips/anyone in the same boat
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Thank you. It felt like a big step but it's actually simple. I used to be so insecure and I thought it would seem better to decline but no that's usually not the case. And it feels somewhat freeing to not always defend but just give in. Accepting help and appreciation feels good. You just have to look at it from another angle. People won't think of you as modest, it can even be the opposite
Say "That would mean so much to me" or "That's so generous of you I don't even know what to say" the next time you get offered something like this. Be honest about how you feel, be authentic. Try to get in touch with your inner self
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This is learned behavior. Find out what in life made you think you shouldn't be accepting gifts or help. Reflect on that and if you think it's necessary. And then start by bringing yourself to not immediately declining. Take a deep breath and instead say something like "Really?" "Are you sure?". Keep in mind, if people reassure you they want to do whatever they offered, they actually want to help you or give something to you. Helping others can bring joy! Life as we know it is about living together and supporting each other. Humans need each other, that's why we're social. And it's okay to give in to that. You are allowed to be loved! You are allowed to accept help like everyone else. I've been there myself. For me the switch slowly started when I realized that sometimes it can even be impolite to decline e.g. a compliment, especially if I did it everytime. In my case, it probably made me seem arrogant. I am not arrogant and definitely didn't want to be seen as that do instead of saying No, I started saying