Another Baby

I have a 3 month old with DS and we’re planning on trying for another one this coming May! If it’s not translocation DS, there’s a very low chance of your other child having DS. I would definitely speak to your geneticist about it and get their genetic testing done to make sure.

@Demaris best of luck babe on your journey; will you be documenting it? Okay our little one genetic came back as t21 xox

After a child with DS, your chances of another one are 1 in 100 unless you’re over 40. That’s both low and high risk. We aren’t doing it due to other life realities. We just aren’t stable enough to do it and we are getting older which means there are also increased odds on other disabilities. If we were younger and in a better place financially we probably would, but we aren’t and we can’t change that, so we are probably stopping at two.

I have 4 year old twin boys. One is typical and the other has DS. I was told that's like 1 in a million odds. So we feel extra blessed. We decided early in our relationship we wanted 3 kids close together in age. So we had our singleton daughter 16 months later. She's also typical. TBH i was more worried about another twin pregnancy than having another baby with a disability. My 3 are inseparable. My 2 typical kids definitely know their brother does and acts a little differently and that he has more appointments than they do. But they are amazing with him. Always helping and cheering him on. And he's learned SO much from watching them and playing with them. Mimicking their almost every move. I have absolutely zero regrets of having another baby after a DS diagnosis. And if my daughter by chance also had DS I would be so much more prepared and less anxious than I was when my son was born. 💛💙

@Maria thank you for replying and okay my love; does your other little one have health complications?

@Kaitlin this was beautifully written babe; thank you for this reply. ❤️❤️

No, my older one appears to be neurotypical (so far! ADHD runs in one side of the family) and in good health.

@Kaitlin This is what we hope for our family. To have three, but financially we just can’t afford it, and as I get older risks get higher for pretty much everything. So it’s looking like two for us, which hurts my heart sometimes, but it is what it is. Also, I have a friend with twins where one is typical and one has DS! They’re both 9 and are thriving!

@Maria okay, I guess if we had a neurotypical child before I might have not taken this as hard, this is a first baby xox

@Maria see I had dreamt of having a large family as I’m an only child, I really do pray we are able to have more kids who would be healthy but I just don’t know. Aww bless your friends kids, that’s must be an interesting journey with the twins xox

And that is tough! I know several people who have gone on to have neurotypical second, third and even fourth children. But it is all a role of the dice, especially if abortion is not on the table for you. I do know one family with two sweet girls who both have disabilities— one with DS and the other with a rare neurological disorder. It’s a really tough decision. I don’t know how old you are, but that does impact risks for other disabilities. For example, some research suggests your risk for autism goes up as you age, and specifically if your husband is in his forties. But even then, the risks are 1.5%— it’s both a big risk and a minuscule risk. I don’t know that it’s possible to make that decision for anyone but yourself. My heart goes out to you. Know that, for me personally if I was younger, and we were more stable in…everything (our lives are a gong show), I would totally have gone for another one. My heart is heavy along with yours as you navigate all of this.

@Maria this was beautifully written! It’s such a risk but a part of me would love to give our little one at least one sibling! It scares me thinking about when we depart from this world who’s gonna be here for her when she needs someone. I’m an only child and I know the pain I know not having a sibling. There’s defo a lot to consider; I’ve always wanted a massive family due to that fact aswell. Hubby and I are both in our twenties and her diagnosis was never picked up during my pregnancy I guess that’s why it’s broken me so much I’m very torn tbh but I guess only time will tell

I also desperately wanted a sibling for my oldest. I hadn’t imagined her getting a sibling that will wind up quite possibly putting an extra load on her when she is older. Our current plan is to try to settle in a place and build a community that is like family, who will fall in love with our Bub when he is young and be willing to walk with him throughout his life so when we are not able to care for him in the future that he will be surrounded by those who have his best interest at heart and will love him. Being in your twenties is kind of amazing and I wish we were younger so we could be around for more of his life. The average person with Down Syndrome has a life expectancy of about 60. I won’t lie, in the early days I hoped he would die before us just so we’d never have to experience that unknown and the question of who would care for him. But as he gets older and I see the love people bestow on him my prayers have moved to a loving community that will step up and care for him when

We are no longer able to.

But that intentionally of building a strong community is compatible with having more kids or not. And if by some chance you had a second baby with DS somewhere in your hopes for large family, your strategy wouldn’t change. Then you’re just building a loving community of support for two kids rather than one, and to supplement what you and your potentially neurotypical kids would be able to offer.

@Maria I completely hear where you are coming from; to be honest we are surrounded by so much love it’s truly heart warming! The idea of having a large family is still something I think about daily however, I could not go through with another sick child as this has taken such a toll on me and my family, it’s definitely something we didn’t expect as her condition wasn’t picked up during pregnancy and neither was her heart condition. I just can’t wait to get over the hurdle and return back home as we are currently in the hospital, our little one just had surgery and it’s been horrific to say the lease. All I can do is continue to push on and keep going and pray that she has a good quality of life. That’s what scares me when we are gone who’s gonna look out for her? I believe she will be independent because she shows signs of being that but I’d love to know what someone will always have her back no matter what xox

I know many of the heart warrior babies who are thriving right now. If you don’t follow and IG accounts about kids with Down Syndrome, I highly recommend you start (assuming you have Instagram). I have found them very encouraging, and all the little heart warriors I am aware of are thriving. It’s a very supportive online community and will give you a concept of the joys that will be coming down the road. Every milestone is sweeter and a bigger celebration because these babies work so hard for it. My suggested accounts to follow are @kristinczernek @makingmilliestones @ourhuddybuddy @mistycoysnyder @downwithmydudes @mybeautifuldsjourney

@Maria bless you! Thank you for the recommendation. I certainly will give each account a view once we are out the hospital. Our little girl has just had her surgery xox

Wishing baby girl a quick and healthy recovery!