undecided if one and done?
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@Vicky seven!!! What a woman 🤣🤣 you've got to make an even number though..... Hahahaha
lol my dog makes eight 😉 😂
I had the exact thought to post today, but I didn't know how to put it in a post.. I'm struggle with knowing what to do, we are trying, but the more it doesn't happen, I keep doubting if I should stop at one and if it is a sign to stop. 🫣
Being an only child is what is making me want another one. I'd have nobody if I didn't have my partner and my mom. I don't want her to feel like that. But I know that isn't a valid reason to have another. It's so tough :(
One and done 100%
Pregnant with my second! Couldn’t imagine growing up without a sibling / siblings, me and my partner are both one of 3. However my partner was happy with just 1
@Laura it's hard, isn't it? My other half doesn't want another which I think mostly makes my decision for me - but I need to make sure I'm happy with the decision too ..... But I can't decide!! They say when you stop trying it happens!!
@Lindsey exactly this!!!! A huge part of me says have another so he has someone when I'm not around. But then my other side says he will hopefully have his own family by then and there's no guarantee he'd like his sibling, my dad and auntie don't talk at all!!
@Daniela I'm envious that you're so sure!! I was 100% certain for soooo long but now I'm defo not!!
@Becky 100% I think that might be the case for me as well but for at least 2 years I cannot have another anyway. If after 2 years I still don t want, that s fine. Rising a child takes a lot of patience that I don t have.... honestly talking.... and also I don t want to go from the start again for the next 3 years.... or maybe next time I ll have more luck and everything will go smoothly! To be able to say at 6 weeks we have a routine and we sleep all night!
@Daniela honestly the ease of a toddler is also a huge factor. Don't get me wrong tantrums are rough, but he can communicate, he's fun and he sleeps!!! I don't know if I could do postnatal depression again AND have to mother another child who is aware of what's happening!
I am SO torn! I would love a second but I had HG and was bedbound for the first half of my pregnancy and I’m not sure how my daughter would cope with that (she’s a mummy’s girl through and through). I have a 18mo younger sister and it was amazing especially when we were kids - we were absolute best friends and it was lovely.
@Becky I’m in the same predicament as this, I was in a dark place too and had a very awake baby, in fact I didn’t like being a mum at all. Now I’m absolutely besotted with my toddler, I feel she’d be an amazing older sibling which makes it even harder. Age isn’t on my side tho so I might not even be able to. Some weeks I’m like yess another others I’m like oh god no way! So hard
@Cara it's the hardest choice!! I'd never ever forgive myself if my toddler saw me in the pits of PND that I was in when I had him. I think that's the biggest thing that will stop me. The fear of going back to not wanting to be here anymore, not coping and exposing him to that. I hated motherhood for 10 months. Absolutely hated it. And I think that's a part of why I want another - because I want to have the joy people talk about. I want to do everything so much better this time sround. I don't remember the first year of my son's life because My brain has blocked it all out! But that isn't a reason to have another.
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@Becky there is a definite fear of whether we would go through that again, it’s such a shame isn’t it. The trauma is so real and I too didn’t get that closeness or start to bond until around 8 months, the intrusive PND thoughts that I could have hurt her were mega scary!! (I’m the softest person!) i make up for it now and I think that’s through a weird guilt. I look at photos and can’t remember them. I received help so I’m on the fast track list to get help again if it happens. I think if you’re even typing this here, it means that you care more about conceiving again than not :) we can fight this fear!!! We got this! You’re not alone x
I knew I’ve got seven tho 😂 I knew after each one I was so undecided this time I KNOW I’m done lol x