Anxiety after having baby?

I’ve always had the wee odd bit of anxiety throughout my life but compared to now it was very minimal. Since having my 2nd baby (13 months) after my first I’ve been completely overwhelmed with anxiety. He was born early, ended up in the nicu, had a C-section, found the C-section and nicu trips every day hard, splitting myself between both kids etc. I feel the start to his life possibly didn’t help. Since then we’ve lost a close family member, we’ve moved house, had a lot to deal with in the 11 weeks. I just feel anxious all the time. The night feeds are the worst. I’m sitting awake the now at nearly 5am and verging on a panic attack. My body the last few days seems to be so tense it’s sore in every muscle (don’t help posture with feeding helps) I don’t know what I’ve got to be anxious about either, but I just feel completely overwhelmed/scared/worried etc. when I’m myself with both boys it’s worse. My husband was away with work for 3 nights there and now he’s home but I think him being away make it worse. I’m not sure what the point of this is just feel like I need to write it down 😔