Mil calls my daughter a name she chose

Is it similar to your daughters name ? I feel like if it’s just her own little nickname for her granddaughter I wouldn’t have a problem but if it’s completely unrelated I would just be abit confused by it really 🤷🏻‍♀️

depends on the name. if it’s one that she wanted you to legally name her, absolutely not. if it’s just a nickname, then it’s not a problem other than you not having control over it. i totally get it, but if it won’t confuse your daughter on her actual name, i’d just let it go. there’s better arguments to have.

i do think it’s disrespectful if you’ve voiced that you don’t like it regardless. i’m not invalidating your feelings. i just don’t think it’s worth arguing over if it’s not that serious. if it’s something that could confuse her then 100% i think she needs to stop.

Wait what is the name she calls ur daughter and what is her actual name?

My mum decided to call my daughter Charlie as Charlotte was apparently too much of a mouthful. It wasn’t the nickname that bothered me but the reason behind it. Thankfully she gave up and I didn’t draw attention to it.

Definitely disrespectful

It’s literally a nickname dude. You don’t get to pick the nickname grandmas make for their grandchildren.

You're gonna have to say the names. Cause you could be totally valid or totally over reacting

She sounds crazy but you have a partner problem. You need to both be on the same page. The dealbreaker is not being on your side. I drew my husband a chart and pulled out Bible verses for him about why since he chose me to be his wife he needs to be on my side rather than his mom/parents 99.99999999% of the time.

Can you share you daughter's actually and the name your MIL is calling her? It would give us a better understanding

Wtf. Start calling your MIL different name aswell.

@Isabella it's a whole different name which is why I feel disrespected

@Luz she calls her pikalele my daughters name is Ivory-Jade

@Ella it's not a nickname she legally wanted us to name her Pikalele

Oh. Just saw the names. That's definitely crossing a line and I'd be pissed. If she can't call her by her name or a nickname based on it, she doesn't need to see her

@Cassie it's not a nickname it's a name she wanted us to choose but turned down.

Ohhhh then that’s weird as fuck. Tell her listen I understand you’re disappointed we didn’t pick the name you wanted but to just call her another name is an odd thing to do and honestly feels a little disrespectful. If you’re going to pick a nickname can you come up with something original? However, the name she wanted you to choose sounds like a goofy nickname so Idek at this point. But yea if my mother in law or my mom for that matter wanted me to name my kid Chris and I named him Alex and she called him Chris that would be weird af.

The name you chose was beautiful btw.

@Dana 🦅♥️🤍💙 lol did the chart work?

@Cassie it's actually a name from her culture but I forgot the meaning of it.

Tell MIL straight, nip it in the bud before other issues arise. You really don't want this ongoing with each thing you disagree on x

@Cassie lol it did. His family was overly involved and they didn’t need to be, it was normal to him because he grew up with them like that.

It is and has been really important for people to call my daughter by her name ( no nicknames) until she’s at least 1 yo or shows me that she can in fact differentiate her real name from her nicknames so I understand whole heartedly. My daughter’s dad side of family refuses to call her anything but “the baby” because they don’t like her name

@Dana 🦅♥️🤍💙 LOVE THIS!!!!!!

@Cassie NO THANK YOU. WE ARE NOT GONNA SAY THIS KINDA STUFF. IF THE MOM SAYS SHE DOESNT WANT HET CHILD BEING CALLED A CERTAIN NAME THEN YOU CAN EITHER RESPECT IT OR LEAVE

that’s disrespectful. regardless of her culture and what she wanted, it’s your baby. if she can’t respect YOUR baby and YOU then she doesn’t need to see the baby. she had her chance to use the name if she wanted and she didn’t, and even if she didn’t have a daughter to be able to use the name that still isn’t your fault. it wasn’t mean to be for her to use it and she needs to deal with it. your daughter should be called only what you and her father what her to be called. i’m sorry that she’s being disrespectful like that, your daughters name is very beautiful

I like to think I’d be petty and start calling her a random name n telling her I just don’t like her name but i definitely don’t recommend doing that😂tbh tell her straight you can see my daughter when you can call her by her name!

@Ceecee same lol I’d make up a name & start calling her that shit🙂‍↔️ Something really stupid

Mine does too but it doesn’t bother me

She had the opportunity to name the child(ren) she gave birth too. She should respect you, your daughter and your partner with the name picked for your daughter and any future children.

I'm Nigerian and in our culture the grandparents give the baby a name and then we the parents give the baby a name as well. Its very normal for the grandparents to casually call the baby the name they have given them. So we as parents are not offended as it's just the norm. For example we would give thema first name and the grandparents would give middle names and just call them by their middle names.

If you don’t want to mention it and cause an argument or anything, you could try ‘speaking through your child’ I think they call it. Next time she calls her the name she wants u can say ‘say no nanny my name is ___!’ That’s the trick I use when I’m too awkward to mention anything🙈🙈

I’ve been through this too, you have to confront her, if she is speaking with someone else like a guest that has come to visit your child and Mil gives fake name then make sure you rectify her loud and clear

In my opinion it’s not disrespectful it’s a cultural thing. My kids have their names for which were chosen by grandparents and they are free to call them that otherwise those names will never be used. Hope that makes sense

How old is your child?

my mom does that, it's annoying but she's bipolar, so she doesn't really care what I think

Pikelelaa in Marathi means ready to eat or ripe like a juicy mango. 🥭 It is like calling a baby sweet or saying I can just eat you up.

I can relate though, my mom wanted to call my son Andy-pandy to me it sounded like “panty” it was odd to me so I asked her to please find an alternative. She instead calls him munki, which I accepted.

That’s wild. She wouldn’t be seeing my kid until she learned what respect is

@Nicole I just learned about this so now my son has two middle names 🤦🏾‍♀️

@Aisha Two isnt that bad. Some Nigerians give their grandchildren like 5 different names. So your son is lucky 🤣

It’s always the dad’s side too. My MIL is mispronouncing my daughter’s name over and over to her face.. we are pronouncing her name the American way, but she is adding an accent to it. It’s like if you were to call Paris Hilton, Pariii Hilton because that’s how the French pronounce it. Baby is 4 months old now, but she’s still doing this.

That’s like calling your husband/her son a random name you’ve picked because you don’t like the one she gave him! It’s disrespectful as the name is special to you and it’s your baby

I would stop letting her see your baby until she respectfully calls her by her name. You can make this clear to your hubby also

The only way I can see it from MIL side is if it's acceptable in her culture. For example, my partner is Nigerian, and in their culture, everybody picks their own name for a child, and a kid can have 10 names from all different relatives, the name has meaning between that relative and the child and is special to them and their bond. However, the kid should go by the name you want and permit, especially when you have explained it makes you unhappy and doubly so if that's not even a factor of her culture.

You can address it without being confrontational. Good luck and m i l sounds like a pill.