Ethnicity wars

Hi, I am mixed English and Turkish and my husband is Pakistani. We had a baby boy. His parents were set on him having a Pakistani name. My husband told me the he is more Pakistani than anything else and so should have Pakistani names. What annoys me is that he says he’s more Pakistani than anything else so he should he this and that. I want my child to learn the language I know (Turkish) but I have no confidence to do this with him being so determined to enforce his culture. We just signed a form which asked the ethnicity and I said write mixed but he wrote British Asian. He is not in my opinion. He is mixed. I couldn’t be bothered to argue but it brings back everything from picking his name. I just want some support to enforce my own cultures and beliefs on my children. It’s like I am afraid to and have no confidence as they are “more Pakistani”. *tears in my eyes*

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I think it’s beautiful that you want your baby to know your culture and language. Keep in mind the baby will pick up whatever language he hears so speak a lot of what you want him to learn to him, sing him songs in your language and read books to your baby in your language. I wouldn’t fight about it but I would definitely share my culture each day with my baby. I agree with you mama. Your baby deserves to know and love every part of himself which includes your contribution. I bet your mixed baby is so beautiful. You’re doing amazing mama!

@Amina it’s funny because my family is all yusuf Ibrahim yasar Kemal etc but my husbands family didn’t even want a Muslim name. My surname is Mustafa. They wanted a modern Pakistani name which doesn’t even cross over with Turkish (I thought as we are both Muslim maybe we could agree on one of those names…) it’s been so complicated. Did you choose a Mexican name?

@MJ thank you so much for your support. In my head all I’m thinking is he isn’t going to want me talking Turkish to my kids 😩😩😩 or what will he think or why is she trying to make them Turkish. Don’t know how to get over this but ur encouragement helps

@Amina, I love you name. Also Aminata. So pretty!

Oh I’d fight. You carried that baby for 9 months, you decide what goes even if he gets angry. And that’s not true that he’s more Pakistani than anything. Embrace everything your baby is and you decide the name since you’re the one giving birth ☺️

I just gave birth to a baby boy a few weeks ago, and my in laws (Greek) threatened us to “disown” my husband if we were to choose a name for our own baby that is not their name since Greeks believe that to honour your parents, you must name your kids after them. So my father in law tells my husband that I have influenced him in a “foreign” way introducing crazy concepts that are unacceptable such as choosing a different name to our own child. We ended up giving our baby the name we wanted and gave my father in law’s name as the baby’s middle name to make them happy too. My in laws are extremely angry and told my husband “you are no longer part of the family, you have carved your own path”. Long story short, it is your baby and you have every right to have a say in their name.. remember that this will be the first step in many cultural clashes going forward so stick to what will make you happy, and adjust to whatever you’re will to accept.

@Diana this is like my family. My dad wanted me to name my son after him but it’s not an easy name for English people to pronounce so he didn’t put up that much of a fight and I made our family name the middle name. I’m actually in Shooter’s Hill so very close Woolwich 😅 you speak Arabic is your family Arab / Middle Eastern?

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