Gifts as step parent

How old is he? I would argue that most problems aren’t caused by the kids/the kids fault! It’s the responsible adults around them that are allowing this and aren’t supporting boundaries xxx

It's not him I know this it's his mum zero boundaries there and there some at ours which is a massive issue he's 10 I get the age but I stress sorting it all making everything equal and I just can't be arsed like I start getting early so I know there all sorted. I feel like my partner dosent help with this stuff either cause oh she's sort it I don't have to worry spoken to him and he just shrugs it off like genuinely if I don't he wouldn't get anything. I've sorted all his little stuff already I'm not a mega bitch 😂 just his one main one alot of money that I can't justify doing right now and I'm made to feel like a twat when I've done nothing sorry im just at a loss right now 😞 like does anyone else stress over getting the gifts for sks and ive been in his life for years too xxx

I think if you’ve always done it.. it’s shit to say no now because you don’t like something a child is doing influenced by the adults in his life I sort all the kids gifts My sons SDs And our joint daughters There’s been years when SDs behaviour has been challenging or when she’s kicking off about coming and saying we’re all not her real family (including her dad) etc but you better believe I still get her gifts sorted like the others

I get what your saying it's not like he wouldn't be getting just telling my partner to sort it cause I can't deal I have no idea on them and he's saying he dosent want to see us anymore I just feel like if I get it putting myself out for it to be played twice and then he stops coming I just don't no. And really wow that's hard I've had all sorts over the years but if I get the wrong one or something al be worse person alive and I can't then deal with guilt thinking I've fucked it up like I've been told 20 times today alone

That’s how I feel now. My SD is 7 and been in my life since she was 18 months old and still treats me like her cook, cleaner and personal shopper. Never shows me any affection and plays me off against her dad. He’s a really good dad, but will never discipline due to ‘dad guilt’ of only having her every other weekend. It’s infuriating and I’m not allowed to ‘parent’ her even though our daughter is treated differently. Such a tricky ground to tread as I want to support my husband but arghhhhhh!

I used to do all presents for SS10 then he turned rude, ungrateful, manipulative (telling me if I told him off he’d say things to make his dad leave me) and very spiteful and aggressive towards me and my son at that point I told my partner I’m not doing it anymore especially as he stopped visiting just before we had our baby 16 months ago Obviously dad can arrange his own gift for his child if he chooses but it’s no longer my problem xxx

Glad it's not just me @Sita it's alot thanks

@Georgina it's so difficult isn't it 😫

I know not everyone will agree but I’m raising my own kids to be respectful and grateful for what they have and what they receive and that’s not what I’ve had from SS

Yeah me too this is the big thing for me in all honesty he doesn't give a shit no thankyou or anything my oldest 3 will be like wow thankyou instantly at the age where everything is amazing but I am hoping to keep that and it's harder and harder with his attitude ther is o ly so long I can keep going and ignoring it and I'm just bot prepared for the shit at Christmas when that is my time to enjoy with my babies and also first real santa 🎅 the idea of having face ache cause I got the wrong thing just sends me over right now I've got all the other shit bits that will get thrown to one side as per but yeah glad it's not just me

I stopped doing sk's presents after 3 years and just told my partner it's a lot of stress and money for me I can't afford. But I will help so I just remind him a birthday or Xmas is coming up and what does he want to get them. I order on his card exact item and wrap if he asks or I don't xxx

@Nicole thanks I will be doing this xxx