Religion

It’s linked to a handful of football teams in Scotland and is a much bigger deal in the central belt than where I’m from in Scotland. If he has not intention of supporting your child to be a practicing catholic then there is not much point in a christening. It has nothing to do with football at all. My husband wanted our son christened but we had a humanist wedding and neither of us are practicing so I said no. If nothing else a christening implies that the baby has sin and will be sent to purgatory if not christened. And I can’t support that thought even though I have been christened.

I don’t blame you, I would be the same. We had pressure from his family to christen the boys but thankfully, my OH isn’t religious. 🫂 I think they’ll be plenty of people that get the issue, just maybe not the link to football. I think that’s quite Scotland specific. 😆

I think it's mostly about "you have to" rather if you believe/practice or not. Don't know if you know what I mean. I'm Italian living in Scotland. In Italy most people are Christian, Who practices and who not. But anyway if you have a child you HAVE TO baptised the baby, it's something that you do plain and simple, this is what they do. I'm with you on this, I think a baby should be baptised only if you really believe in that religion and you want for it to follow that path and you are ready to accompany the child on that path, otherwise it doesn't make any sense. We are Christian on paper but we don't believe in it (we are more pagans than anything else if we have to put a name on what we believe) and we will not baptised our baby. When we told this to our families "whattttt you have to, what does it mean you will not baptised her" and so on... They just simply don't see this a thing. I don't really care I will not do it even because I want her to be free to choose something that I believe is very personal.

@Claire yeah its hard to explain it , I have a friend from Ireland who said it's worse here than it is in Ireland! And that over there it has no association to football like it does here. Its sectarian craziness.

I think she means that the one shouldn’t have anything to do with the other, not that it’s ridiculous to think they do.

@Veronica yeah that's what I mean its like drilled into them that that's just what happens and I'm the only non Catholic who's like eh no haha and my partner is totally trying to come up with reasons why we should like mad religious stuff that I'm like eh I don't believe in it haha

@Claire ahhh fair !

@Sarah its not even a handful :( 2 teams with equally mental "supporters" lol my partner uses the purgatory thing to say why we should do it do I argued that in the Christian bible baby's can't sin 🤔

From what I know, and that’s not a lot, if he wants the child christened in a Catholic Church, he’ll have to attend. The priest won’t do it unless they know him well enough. In their view, why should they bring your child into the house and eyes of the Lord if the child’s father doesn’t know God himself. My uncle and aunt were in this exact same situation. My uncle had to attend regularly for months before they’d consider it. He did attend and they did get it done for both children, but my aunt wasn’t bothered either way. None of them now attend.

@Jodie well that's how it should be by the rules of the bible BUT its not. You get folk who will literally tell you "don't go to father xyz he won't do it but go to father abc he will take in anyone" literally. Folk give them donations for the christening so another reason I don't agree with it all is how they don't even really care themselves. They shouldn't even do it unless I'm a Catholic too which isn't happening. Lol

I grew up in Belfast and have lived in Glasgow for 20 years now so I know how infuriating & tedious the old ‘us & them’ divide is 😞 Has your partner been pushy about christening the baby? We are thinking of a Naming Ceremony with a Humanist Celebrant once our baby is a few months old as a non-religious way to have a party & wet the baby’s head. Maybe that’s an option if your partner is more enthusiastic for the party than the religious bit…? In terms of what school they might go to, I would imagine it’s a fairly big commitment to attended Mass and First Communions etc. as a family. Is your partner pushing for that? Maybe you could set your own version of what someone else mentioned - if he attends Mass with the baby every week for a year you will possibly maybe consider a christening, depends if you think he would actually follow through or is all talk 😅

@Maeve So this is the weird thing. I think its just because all his family are Catholic he just thinks it should be too and go to the same school as his niece and nephew etc. I know right now deep down there is no real other reason , but he will give it all "his faith means a lot to him and I don't have any faith so why does it mean something to me" and I don't want to be offensive but I want to literally say your talking BS lol so i know it's nothing to do with the party etc he just in his weird head is like this is what should be done. I know he would go for a bit but he defo wouldn't follow through. Every year he talks about going to midnight mass at Xmas. And I laugh snd go OK cool ill come too and he's never been once. We went to Ireland to where his granny grew up and he spoke for ages about how she would turn in her grave if he didn't go to Chapel while he was there..do you think he went ? Lol its all talk and bs it drives me up the wall.

So it’s maybe more about wanting to follow how his family do things and feeling some sense of belonging & tradition. In that case I would treat the Naming Ceremony as an important family event that everyone should get dressed up for and something that is important for the spiritual wellbeing of your baby & your wee family ✨ You could nominate Godparents and dress baby in a nice white gown to try to follow some traditions in a non-religious way 💟 [Me & my partner are both only children so hope to have a Naming Ceremony where we can invite a few of our close pals to be “officially” part of our baby’s life & upbringing as they won’t have any Aunties or Uncles by blood]

As for choice of school, that is quite a while away and will depend on where you are living at the time, so maybe better to take things one step at a time with regards to any following in family footsteps 😉 I totally appreciate this is easier said than done though! My partner is from Central America so our life together is one big series of discussions and compromises about how we do things such as celebrate Christmas, birthdays, food, music etc. etc.