PPA?

Ok, I think I have PPA 😭 For context I had PTSD from a few previous incidents including a bad horse accident, witnessing my mom have a terrible car accident and my ex partner having a bad accident resulting in him having a seizure and me having to give him CPR I had CBT after the ex partner incident which really helped and made me realise I’d been struggling with anxiety around being in control, catastrophic thoughts and uncontrollable worry for a long time Now I’m 9 weeks pp following a maternal choice c section for the above reasons and I can feel myself slipping into the same old thought traps I gave myself credit for it being new mom anxiety to start with but now my boy has his first jabs tomorrow I’m worried I’m going to be worried that he’s not ok and any symptoms are worse than to be expected and it’s making me realise I’m not ok! I can’t sleep unless I’ve checked a million times that he’s breathing and not too hot and I worry every time he does anything out of the ordinary (the first time he was fussy I nearly had a panic attack that he was super poorly) I’ve had 2 cold sores back to back (ironically I think the second one is down to the stress and worry of giving him HSV from the first one) And now I’m even preemptively worrying that I’m going to be worried tomorrow after his jabs 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’ve asked my mom to be on standby in case I get panicky! I’m going to speak to my doctor tomorrow as I know it’s all very similar to how I’ve felt previously but does anyone have any advice of how to manage? I’m not expecting any quick fixes through the NHS and I don’t want meds if I can help it Just sick of my brain being like a final destination film all the time 🙈

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Can I ask why you don't want meds? I use them to manage depression, which is ofc different than anxiety, but they are such a help, and you can always start them then change your mind. That said, I think it's great that you've recognised previous patterns and are going to take this to a doctor! That's already a huge step, well done you. I hope you figure out how to manage this in a way that works for you.

My only concern with meds is the side affects and feeling numb emotionally. I’m already dealing with pp hormones and going back on the pill so not sure I can cope with more mood changes like I had when I took them many years ago. Nothing against them as I have had them before and know many others who take them and they work wonders just not sure they’d necessarily help with the bigger picture for me currently 🤷🏻‍♀️ Also didn’t have any when I did my CBT so hoping I can battle it that way again in the long run But thank you I just hate knowing what the issue is and not being able to stop it 🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh yeah if you've tried them before and know how they impact you, I hear you. I've gone through loads of different meds to find the ones that work for me, but I realise it's more difficult sometimes! Esp like you say, with everything else going on in your body. Hope you figure out something that works for you!

Thank you! I’d definitely give them a go again and take time to find the right ones just not while going through all these hormonal changes too 🙈🙈🙈

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