Mom troubles

@Julia thanks for that. I've been feeling down about it because I thought maybe I was in the wrong

I had a sort of opposite rule when I had my first. My husband at the time was deployed and was granted a short period of time home after birth. My rule was you can visit all you want while I'm in the hospital or after my husband leaves, but while he is here and we are at home, no visitors. I really, really wish that 19 year old me had the firmness that 31 year old me has and put my foot down on the rule. You are certainly not in the wrong for wanting no visitors for the first 24 hours. Or any amount of time you decide.

I'll add that my bio mom was very unhappy with my decision but she at least did respect my rule. She lives out of state so it wouldn't have been a quick visit either. My family was pretty receptive and understanding, it was his family and friends that were not.

Your pregnancy, your body, your rules! I did something very similar. Prior to L&D, I had told my family that I didn’t want hospital visitors right away when my twins were born, but I didn’t realize just how much I NEEDED that over just wanting it. My birth involved my boys having a 1 day NICU stay (only to get magnesium out of their systems), and after laboring over 24 hours, suffering the side effects of preeclampsia, and naturally pushing out two babies, there is no way I could have even coherently been with a visitor. I wanted to use that day to sleep and recover before having to step into full blown mom mode. All parties respected it, but didn’t like it. You never know how you are going to feel and what you are going to want or need after such an event. I think setting a more stern boundary ahead of time is better than not having any boundary in place at all. If you change your mind, then it is a pleasant surprise to your family, but if not, don’t sweat it. It’s about YOU!

@Dana thanks I didn't even think about needing time to recover. I was more thinking about the initial bonding for my husband and I without anyone else there trying to take the babies and have all that special attention to themselves

There is a lot to take into account! You are very vulnerable in many ways after giving birth, but also overwhelmed with love for your newborns! Your reasoning is also the same reason why I had initially placed the visitor boundary. I can honestly say, I have ZERO regrets about not allowing visitors, and no one ever talked about it again once they met them. Your family will be ok, I promise!

@Kat Jacobs I'm so sorry to know that. Maybe she was just too excited. Is this your first or maybe the first grand baby? I mean she had no right when you wanted to keep that a secret at first but I could also see how it would be hard to