Baby names

Seriously?! Naming the baby with his mother. That’s not ok. I don’t know what your rights are but I am fuming for you! I would say, if you don’t want to discuss it, I am happy to name the baby. And leave it at that! You grew the baby, I’m sure this must mean you have more rights!!

This is so wrong to me. I wouldn’t be having that at all. It’s not her child - she’s had her time to name her child/children!

The problem is that he won't even have the conversation. He is a boy, and at this point, I expected to start calling my son a name, at least, but he has refused to confirm or agree to anything. His mum has never called or texted since I got pregnant even though she lived all of last year at ours. I refused her coming back this year because I needed some privacy in my home, and she manipulated things a lot. She never helps out, and I couldn't be pregnant, working full-time and looking after her as well when she has 6 other children. She calls him but never bothers to say hi. It doesn't bother me, but he doesn't see anything wrong with it. He says he wants to have a naming ceremony when th child is born and his mum must be in attendance. No problem but, I don't think I'll find it funny if he tells me nothing now and in the presence of people, him and his mum starts coming up with names I haven't heard before for my child. This is my first child and this is almost ruining the experience for me.

Sorry for the long write up

The baby's name isn't properly set until you register the birth of the baby, so make sure you go together. It's a formal legal thing so I'm sure the registrar would not put the name down if you don't agree. Here is some info on the process. https://www.ukdeedpolloffice.org/uk-laws-for-baby-names/

I really feel for you. This would cause a lot of unnecessary anxiety. Why would he want a naming ceremony but currently wants to avoid discussing names?? Does he know how you feel at all? I think ultimately you are just as in control (if not more) of naming him than your partner.

If he's dismissing the conversation I'd send him a message so he knows how you feel about this. Something like "I understand that naming a baby can be a big decision, but I'm feeling a bit hurt that you're not making more effort to discuss it with me. I feel like it's important that we both have a say in the name. I'm open to discussing other options, but I'd really appreciate it if we could sit down together and talk about this soon". You could even suggest turning it into a date night idea for just the two of you. See how he responds and then go from there. If he still dismisses it after you say you're finding it hurtful then you have a much bigger problem on your hands x

Thank you @Alex , I'll try this approach

He's my husband, so may be banking on the fact that he can register the birth without me.

Which, in my opinion, would be a complete betrayal of trust. If my husband lost his mind and did that to me it would be the end of our marriage. Send that message, have the chat and get to the bottom of what's going on so you're not worrying for the coming weeks.

I have sent the message and his reply was less than impressive. "Why this? Why make a whole issue out of this" his reply

Sounds like he is gaslighting you. He's the one making an issue out of it by not talking about it like an adult.

Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore

I was just wondering if this is a cultural thing… I’ve got friends that have different culturals and the mother in law was very involved in the baby naming and throwing her opinions about. Ultimately I would say to my husband if I were in this position, this is our son and I would like to discuss what we should name the baby and if he says no, just say you’ll pick a name and start calling the baby by the name… he will soon start talking 🤣❤️ hope your ok though

I don't believe it's a cultural thing. We are both from same country and my Dad never acted this way with any of my siblings, neither did my brother to his wife. My office threw a surprise baby shower for me today. I was so happy as my parents and siblings are not here and so I didn't get one. But then it made me even more sad about this whole naming situation.

@Kirsty I was going to say the same thing. Just tell him if he doesn't want to talk about it you will pick a name then 😂

Honestly, I give up as he has just told me my message earlier today was emotional abuse. Don't even know what to say anymore