In laws are weird

I’m sorry it might be your trauma because I’m really struggling to find the problem here, sorry. But obviously keep an eye out if anything else happens x

I do find it weird... usually, people don't absolutely want to change diapers 😅 were they carrying a diaper so they are ready to change him when you were not around?

Not going to lie, they might want to see him naked. But, I don’t think it’s necessarily anything malicious. I know that a lot of people who LOVE baby feet and I know Anne Geddes sells gobs of pictures of random babies feet. For me, I L.O.V.E. baby buns!!! They’re just so little teeny tiny and adorable and babies just look so god damn adorable laying on their tummies….. without a diaper on….. It was one of my biggest requests when we had my son professionally photographed as a newborn. I wanted a couple of pictures of his little teeny tiny baby buns that I can always look back at. Maybe it’s because it IS something that’s so taboo in our society now. After infancy, pretty much the only buns you’re ever going to see are your own, your significant other’s, your children’s (and I guess if you watch porn, but again, there’s that taboo thing). I mean, we don’t even CALL THEM ‘buns’ anymore! After infancy, they’re ‘butts.’ Anyway, I don’t know, I just wanted to give you another (contd.)

perspective that might be harder for you to see because of your trauma. I can most assuredly promise you that I have no malicious or nefarious intentions with any baby buns, they’re just adorable to me. When I have grandkids, I will most DEFINITELY have to see their little baby buns!!! I mean, I’ll be very open about it and flat out tell my kid and their significant other that I gotta see that tiny little behind, but I am an extremely open person. Maybe your in laws are private people? Or maybe they feel like you are and they are embarrassed to say something? Maybe they know about your past trauma and fear saying anything because they don’t want to trigger/hurt you? Maybe they’re afraid that you’ll think differently of them (which is pretty much what you’re doing right now…..). Obviously I don’t have any idea if any of this is relatable to your situation or not, but again, I just wanted to give you another perspective that might not be something that you would think of due to (contd.)

your history. Have you considered maybe asking them about what’s going on or how you’re feeling (or having your fiancée do it)? P.S. I am so incredibly sorry that you have that history. Obviously I have no clue what that history includes, but as you said, it clearly involves trauma and that breaks my heart for you. No one should ever have to have trauma like that. I’m proud of you for even being able to speak of it at ALL (yes, even incognito!). I hope that you are able to continue to grow and heal from that more and more.

I’m really sorry, but I don’t see a problem with grandparents changing nappies.this is probably something to do with your trauma, and for that I’m very sorry.

Tbh I don’t think it’s that they just “want to see baby naked” maybe it’s that it’s been so long since they’ve changed a diaper they just want to experience it all over again. I think your reaction to it is stemming from your own personal traumas. Now if something were to start happening say they won’t allow you in the same room as them when they change baby then that’s a WHOLE other situation but just wanting to change a diaper doesn’t seem like a huge thing to me personally.

Sometimes I’ll change my baby on her playmat or the bed because I don’t want to move her or I’ll always bring diapers and wipes to the pop up tent when I hang out with her in there instead of going all the way back inside each time

Sorry you’ve been through something horrible but when my nephew was little I always offered to change him but not because I wanted to see him naked but I wanted to help out and I suppose do my bit his mum was exhausted. Just to add I’d take him to a separate room or upstairs to do it as well not because I wanted to see him naked but if I were to change him in a room full of people I probably would’ve put the nappy on back to front. I also think it’s natural to take Them to a separate room to change them xx

Sounds like they’re just trying to be helpful and change their grand baby and you are making it weird. Maybe try and look at things from a more positive perspective. At least they aren’t leaving him soiled and probably don’t feel the need to bother you guys for a simple diaper change.

I don't have any trauma myself, but I still find this weird. When an adult is THAT insistent on seeing a baby naked, that's a red flag. They're either thinking nasty, or they're just trying to use your child to relive their glory days of parenting. Neither situation is okay.

Tell them that only you and your partner will be doing diaper changes- it’s a valid boundary