Sperm donor or no??

So me and my husband have always said we wanted 3 kids. We recently had our second. And now he is going around and telling everyone he's gonna get "snipped" and he is gonna go get a vasectomy with our brother in law and saying he's gonna need a whole weekend out before the procedure. And he says it and then looks at me for a reaction. I told him tonight that having 3 is a big thing for me and it's something I really want and he said he's not ready to even consider talking about it bc it hard with the newborn right now and maybe in 3 years he would consider the conversation again and is being closed off to discussing it. Is it messed up that I told him I will have a third by sperm donor if I have to? I would even want 4 but I know he would never. I'm just feeling so much anger toward him for all of this and don't know why. I am seriously considering a sperm donor.. is this normal?

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Things are really tough with a newborn love. By the time your body completely heals and baby gets older. Your hubby may want another. I most def wouldn’t make the sperm donor comment. He may spaz out and we can’t take back words. I say give it some time and work together to get past the newborn stage. It’s really tough and takes two. Your emotions are high right now. Give yourself some time. It is normal to want another baby but, not to threaten spouse with stepping out to have another baby. All the best, pretty.

All I'm hearing is what you want. Granted, he might have been happy to have 3 in the beginning but got a bit of a reality check after two. After all, babysitting someone's kids you give back is different to having your own. Babies are expensive financially, emotionally and time wise. If he has said he would consider this in 3 years, let him know you will hold him to it. The sperm donor comment was harsh. Would you expect him to claim and support this child that he doesn't want, that has none of his genes?

What was his reaction to you making that comment? I see it being extremely damaging and nothing good coming from that. He’s allowed to have feelings and wants too. Be glad that he said he’d reconsider in a few years. Remember that vasectomies are reversible and have the potential to fail at the same time so you can see how serious he is if he really does his follow up appointments. I think he’s being more than reasonable considering you recently had a second child. Give it time and stop being so dramatic.

Deep breaths. Give it some time. Apologize for the sperm donor comment; that was not ok. Ask him to please holf off on the vasectomy for a bit. Revisit in 12-18 months. While going through the newborn stage is not the time for this conversation. Everyone is emotional. If you still aren't on the same page in a couple of years, see a therapist to work through it. If you did go through the sperm donor thing without his consent, he should divorce you. No one should be forced into a child they don't want, and even if you use a sperm donor, you'd be bringing the baby into his family and expecting him to treat them as his own. Unacceptable.

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