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So I have no person experience with this. My two kids are adopted or through IUI as a single mom by choice. So I’m so far removed from this experience. But I would never be ok with not being a mom. If you can’t find a way to be a mom and he’s the reason, it’s understandable to find a way to be a mom.
No I wouldn't, he stuck beside me while I had miscarriages for our previous pregnancies and he never once faltered in his love and support even though we weren't sure we would ever have kids. My secondary infertility was never a deal breaker for him even though we didn't know about it when we got together and we both wanted children.
Trying and not having it happen is different than different stances on wanting children. So no. Would not. Unless there were other deal-breaker aspects in the relationship but that'd be me leaving for those reasons.
Not at all. That is God’s choice on when or if babies are in your path. If the two of you were meant to be. It will be the way it is to be. Trust in your faith, never loose hope and damn sure don’t give up on love for selfish reasons.
No , I wouldn’t leave him . We have struggled with infertility that partly was male factor ( vasectomy reversal / low sperm count / poor motility ) , for years we couldn’t afford the cost of IVF until last year , but before that it was never a reason to leave him . We do have older kids ( teenagers ) together so maybe that makes a difference, tho over the years it was tough feeling like someone was missing . Thankfully we did find a way and our baby girl is 6.5 months old but even if we couldn’t have had the opportunity I wouldn’t leave because of that .
No. We’ve already talked about it and if we can’t have one together, we’ll see about fostering or adopting.
If you’d already really explored all the options for affording it (loans, raiding retirement accounts, downsizing the house, downsizing the car, second jobs, saving over a few years if you can still afford to wait on your end, or even getting a donor via IUI (research donor conception first)) and having kids is more important to you than that person, then unfortunately this is one of those “love isn’t always enough” situations. If you’re not both on the same page about all the financial options above, I’d be more ready to leave since you prioritize differently and it’s a matter of who wants it more vs one person being fully willing but unable. Either way I’d advise couples counseling.
My husband and I “can’t afford” IVF so we are taking from retirement accounts since he’d rather work longer with a baby than retire young and childless, and we are downsizing the house, and I’m looking into a small part time job- we are making it work, because it’s hugely important to both of us. If my husband wasn’t willing to flip our lives upside down to afford it, I’d leave over different priorities. If we did all this and still came short, we’d wait and try later. If we came up short again in a few years after trying to save up, then I’d have to revisit things.
@Jordan Pfannenstiel You have a Point here! So if you got pregnant by a man 2x was that meant to be? I’m speaking on My behalf.
@Shareese absolutely, love!!!! Only God provides and gives life. I am a firm believer that God never makes a mistake and has a plan. Regardless if that plan is what you wanted or not.
@Jordan Pfannenstiel I Agree!!
I am not loving the vibes from this question. Sounds kinda stetchy and sexist. "He" couldn't afford IVF? Do you expect him to pay for all of it on his own? If you want a kid, you are equally responsible for making it happen. Choose a life partner with the same vision for life together, then stick by each other to make it happen. Medical issues like infertility are not a reason to leave someone.
No. All I've ever wanted was to be a mom, but we would have fostered or adopted. He's the one, with or without biological children
Of course not because if I couldn't get pregnant I wouldn't want him to leave me. Anyone that does that is terrible in my opinion.
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I wonder if people post questions like this to get a reaction or if they are being for real lol
I wouldn’t leave my significant other. I am actually the partner in my marriage that is actually having the issue with pregnancy. My husband said he wouldn’t leave me for that but I did offer up divorce. I know he wants kids and I don’t want my situation to stop him….
@Stephanie I wondered thst too since they aren’t replying to anything. I do t think things are going the way they thought
No