I don't know how to feel anymore!!@

Just got home from my OB doctor..... Their worried either I had another miscarriage or since I hadn't had period for awhile that it was heavy flow.((their way to saying they know)) So I am getting ulstround and pep smear done and set it up with the surgeon to get my tubes removed I was holding tears back thinking I possibly just lost another one possibly making it 7th for me and my doctors our worried, Because emotionally and physically I can't do it anymore........and they can tell in my face! So I have to get ultrasound done and pep smear and set it up with surgeon and remove my uterus and tubes I am done....hard to walk out knowing after this happens I won't be able to see no more pregnancy test and feel the pregnancy in me ...but blessed with all the angels i have above me.... Along with the tooth infection I am getting taken care of on August 27th...I don't understand why this has to happen once again! But I am officially done!!! After 6 miscarriages possibly making 7th just after losing blood and gone through what I knew wasn't period.....I know I haven't been on here for awhile cause I been going through lot in my life, summer been nightmare and I Careless about my birthday coming up on the 20th of August! God Bless. I am lost to words to how to put everything together in one post .....