Daycare and potty training

Hi! I work at a daycare and I understand your frustration. This is my first experience, so I don’t know if all daycares are like this, but from what I can tell, they usually try to do what’s easier for the flow of the daycare, rather than the needs of every single child. In a way, it makes sense, because there are lots of kids so it’s not always easy to accommodate individual needs. On the other hand, in my opinion, they should provide as much support as possible to every single child. In your particular case, since they had assured you that potty training wouldn’t be a problem, they should adapt. Something similar has happened to my workplace. I was in the 2 year old class and the director said it was too hard to take them all to toilet. The solution we found was to place a small kid potty in a space we have between the two classrooms (it used to be a functional washroom, but now there’s only a sink and said potty). That way, it’s not at all far and the kids who have been potty …

… trained can use it whenever. It’s also nice cause the others get to watch so they become interested in using the potty too. Anyways, I believe you shouldn’t dismiss this issue, specially after going through all the work with your child. Maybe you can ask the daycare for an alternative solution. Or even look for a different daycare if they don’t listen to you. Good luck!

My daughter also just turned two and we are starting potty training. Her daycare classroom has a closed off area where they change diapers and they also have a small potty in there for children who are potty training so the teachers don’t leave the classroom to take them to the potty and it doesn’t take much more effort than a regular diaper change

My mom had me potty trained well before the age of 2. I don’t know what’s wrong with people thinking that 2 is young for that. 50 years ago 1 year olds were being potty trained because the thought was if you can walk you can use a toilet. I would sit down with the director and all management there in a formal meeting and record it on your phone too. Make sure they are aware that your daughter has been potty trained and you will not be sending her in diapers to daycare as she no longer requires them. Bring up that you were already told on x date that this was able to be accommodated by the director and that you do not appreciate being blind sided by a breakdown in communication from the staff. For me it would break my trust and confidence in the provider claiming the can care for children of that age. Are there other daycares you have access to? Are you in a rush to get your girl into daycare right now? If you have time to try and find more daycares that are more accepting.

Thanks everyone! When I picked up my daughter yesterday evening she was wearing a diaper and I was told she wouldn’t use the toilet and she peed twice in her pants (which wasn’t true based on the number of soiled underwear and shorts they sent home). They also said she wasn’t ready, which I advised that I respectfully disagree. We spoke to the director who agreed that she needs to be given a chance to adapt. So, she’s allowed to wear underwear, but if she has more accidents than they seem appropriate (whatever that means) she has to wear a pull up. Part of me understands That she can’t being peeing and pooping all over the floors, but they need to work with her. Give her a chance. She was fully potty trained at home for 2 weeks. If they can’t support at daycare then she’ll be in diapers until the end of time. She’s capable and very intelligent, but needs to be given encouragement and a chance.

Your efforts are not in vain. We are still on the journey. For the last few months, she is perfect in daycare, but sometimes prefers pull-ups when we are out. And travelling? We insist on the pull-ups. It hasn't reversed any of the work we've done. And lots of times, she doesn't pee in the pull up, preferring to hold it until we get to a bathroom. Its like insurance. (Her undie goes over her pull-up so she can still feel like a big girl). Our kid appreciates the flexibility, and independence and over time, she's getting great at all of this. She'll be 3 at the end of the year.

@Sonya thanks for sharing! Your experience is reassuring!

I’d push back, the director already ok’d it. I’d drop her off with her potty and say you’ll bring it during the day until they figure their system out

I feel you. I was livid with my son's daycare. He potty trained himself when he was 20mo. He said no diapers no diapers no diapers. So I said okay, then you use this potty. That was it. No accidents out and about. But daycare made him wear a diaper. Which he wouldn't use. SO HE WOULD HOLD HIS PEE AND POO ALL DAY.

@Karen 😳 oh no!!!! Thats terrible!! I feel like there’s this weird vibe where if you potty train before the age that the daycare deems appropriate, they’re reluctant to work with you. I just don’t think that I should delay my child’s development because they’re not ready (or other kids in her class aren’t ready). We’re the parents, we get to make these decisions! I’m also feeling frosty vibes from some of the educators (maybe I’m just reading into it lol) but we haven’t done anything wrong! And to your point, 20 months is actually a perfectly acceptable age to potty train if your child is ready (and that’s research backed!).

I had planned to wait until he was two because of my work schedule and then he said no diapers over and over. He really did potty train himself because he was motivated and a good communicator. I cannot take any of the credit for it being so fast and easy. But every kid is different and the things he struggles with (uh still not sleeping through the night at age three!!!) are completely resolved for other kids literally years earlier.

He's in preschool now and he doesn't have to wear a diaper (it was a full year of unused diapers at the daycare) but he's hesitant about using the toilets. So I'm still angry that his daycare was so rigid because he still tends to hold his pee and poo all day like some terrible habit he picked up by being in such a position.

You could do what we did for daycare. Send your daughter in undies. Do a potty with her at drop-off. The daycare workers will probably put her in a diaper at their first scheduled pottying time. Talk to her about asking to go pee in the toilet, if she can communicate that. Teach her how to undo the diaper. And when you pick her up, go potty with her and leave the unused diaper behind. Then diapers will only be a thing in the middle of the day at daycare and nowhere else.

At the daycare my son actually wouldn't use their little toilets that often, but if I walked him to the next door building he would use the adult toilets there 🤦‍♀️It's like they were actively discouraging kids from being potty trained. Ugh I get so mad thinking about that place! If I could have gotten him into care anywhere else I would have.