Boundaries (Sorry for the rant)

Just wondering how people dealt with other people crossing boundaries. Already when i’m only 25 weeks I’ve started to annoy people because of the boundaries I’m setting. Some of them not even crazy. My dad and nan have completely ruffled my feathers. So a few times they’ve said things like “our babies” or “my babies” or “can’t wait till my babies are here” and my dad posted online once everyone knew that I was pregnant “my daughter has blessed ME with two babies” (twins). This drives me insane and I politely correct them when they say things like this. In the end they aren’t their children. They are mine and my partners. And it makes me uncomfortable that I’m growing two beautiful children and MY PARTNER AND I HAVE been blessed with this and they are completely taking it away from us almost. Also, my dad and nan liked touching my belly at the start. before there was even a bump and it really made me cringe. I don’t like being touched as it is. It got to the point where I had an actual argument with my dad because I said “would you touch my stomach randomly if I wasn’t pregnant?”. This has made them both so annoyed at me and frustrated. Like it’s my stomach? Stop just randomly touching me, or at least ask first? My nan also kept tapping it. Almost as if it’s a slap and thor annoyed at me when I said stop for the 4th time. Finally (there’s actually more but won’t fit it), I have told them the names. Me and my partner DO NOT want to have nicknames. We would name them the nicknames otherwise. And once they knew the names, they instantly decided that they will call them by a certain nickname. I said no because that’s not her name. And this once again caused a hassle because they think i’m being selfish. With MY children. I just feel like they are constantly going to get annoyed at me because I DONT want them to have a nickname. Why would I? When they are older fair enough of their friends want to call them a nickname at school. But as soon as they are born. Mine and my partners wishes already being refused. Feels like they think they have some entitlement to MY children. It’s so upsetting already and makes me feel crazy. Why would you deliberately try and do things I have told you we don’t like. Frustrating.

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I understanding your wanting to have boundaries and they not be protruded I respect that however the nicknames that other ppl set for a child is truly in my eye hard to dictate for you don't have to call them by it and it will only frustrate you more for trying to tell them that it's not right . The nicknames may not be used in the future this could be a way of accepting and excitement of the two precious lives that are coming into the family and the world. No one want to rob you or your partner of your joy atleast I hope they aren't but hey if only I had what you had I truly wouldn't be so bothered wish you well on your journey and this is a momma bear trait that is coming out . All love ❤️

@Tennara I just really HATE any nicknames for the names I’m giving these babies. And if I do learn to love them I want them to grow into their real names before even the idea of giving them nicknames. I feel like yes it’s an exciting time for everyone but they are mine and my partners children and we are naming them the names that we love. Not the nicknames. It’s not hard to just agree to not call them something I have specifically said we don’t want them to be called. It’s even easier to not argue it with me and my partner. They are our children 🤷🏼‍♀️

Fair enough, im sorry its a hard thing for them to accept, but I wish you luck. You still have time and they will get the hint maybe try not giving them heat for it and ignore it if that doesn't work try the gentle hand approach sitting each one down and say it like you said to me you want them to grow into the names they are given by you and your partner not anyone else and allow there little personalities to show asking for time isn't bad and be on a one one and gentle hand may work . Try not to get to worked up though it will only make it harder for you to continue to accept the name choices and that wouldn't be fair you or your partner maybe that is somthing to state as well . But good luck with it. I hope they will find the level or respect in your boundaries you are requesting and deserve.

it is your child and your boundaries. as the mother you have every right to tell them to stop. it may not makes sense in other ppls eyes but it’s not their kid it’s yours

I know it can be really hard when you have expectations and people won't listen(trust me, I'm also dealing with it haha) A way to look at your first point though, instead of seeing it as them "taking away" from you guys try and see it and genuine excitement. Obviously I don't know the dynamic, but for some family members having babies join the family is almost as exciting for them as it is for the parents of the babies. I'm 100% that person that feels like, this is my baby and I want it the way I want it, but if it isn't being said out of malice, maybe try and see it as they truly feel blessed that you're having them. They know at the end of the day the babies are yours, but perhaps the feelings they had once upon a time are being stirred up and theyre just excited. I also understand the nickname thing but like it was already said, it's really difficult to dictate if someone else gives them a nickname, family or not. Your children will hear the full name more than a nickname anyway if they're primarily w/ u

@Breanna i mean i really don’t think it is difficult. if i have named my children then that’s their name. it would be difficult if i had t already expressed that i don’t want them to call them by a nickname. but i have, and yet they still to my face have told me they don’t care and will be calling them by a nickname. i don’t want my kids to have a nickname simple as that. and with the first point, it’s constantly now being said as malicious and sarcasm. at first yeah it’s fine it was excitement. but then i expressed how it made me feel and then now they purposely don’t say it with a stupid tone in their voice to try and get a rise out of me because they are annoyed at me for saying i don’t like it. i feel like there’s a different between excitement and entitled. yh i’d get it if they were happy and excited and constantly telling me how excited they are are we were all jumping for joy. but this is people purposefuly doing things im not comfortable with even after my telling them no

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