Family problems

I'm having family problems but can't find an active 'family problem' group to post in so hoping you lot can help. It might be a long one but I need some help! I have two beautiful children who are cared for loved and spoilt, I'm only 20 not that age matters. Ever since I had my eldest in 2022 my family have done nothing but criticise me for the way I raise my children, the boundaries/rules etc. Two of my rules was a simple one of 'dont just pick up baby once they're mobile' and 'if baby is crying/upset I will deal with fhem'. They can't seem to grasp the fact that I want my kids to be able to go to who they want to go to, whenever they want to and not be forced to give family hugs/kisses etc if they dont want to. I want to raise independent children that know they can go to family whenever needed. Alongside, if they're playing and you want to play with them, go and join them rather than picking them up to play with them. They just think I'm stopping them from socialising etc when I'm not. Another problem for them is the fact that I won't let my kids stay overnight with them, they're 2 and 7 months. I don't want to force my kids to stay somewhere they don't want to nor am I ready to leave them yet but to them 'i let my kids stay at their aunt's'. I can't express enough how many times I've had to say that I understand that but I am not ready. Feeding - from 6 months I threw them in the deep end with them having our meals at dinner time but I get criticised as it's not what they did. I should be puree feeding them. Due to this I distanced myself from them as it was taking a toll on my mental health and I'm getting criticised for that because 'mental health doesn't exist' and I'm 'being ridiculous' but in my head I need to do what is right for me and my children and that isn't them seeing their mother put down by family. Fast forward to the weekend just gone, there was an event and I just braved it as I had bought my tickets before I distanced myself. Everything was going fine until I mentioned that I was moving flat but don't know when as there's a possession order on the flat we're moving to. They took that as a possession order on my current home and went 'it wouldn't surprise me'. Then on Sunday my eldest was in a jumpsuit as it was the first thing I could find that fit him and I was in a rush. He's currently in between sizes so it's difficult to find something that fits him and all his drawstring clothes were in the wash. I got 'typical' and an eye roll most probably because my bedroom at my mum's never used to be the cleanest but since I got my own place it is sparkling clean (with two kids). The final comment that was made was when I was holding my daughter and a family member asked if I was pregnant to which I replied no and I got a 'are you sure'. What do they expect from me, to lose the baby weight of two kids close together in 7 months? I dislike the way I look as it is so to hear that from them made me feel even worse about myself. So unless I'm 2 weeks pregnant (period due beginning of August) and look 4 months pregnant then I'm going to say no. There's also a birthday party beginning of August for a niece which I'm going to but now I'm not sure if I actually want to go if more comments are going to get made. My main question out of all of this is what do I do? I can't stand up for myself because I'm just 'being childish' but I also can't go on like this anymore.