Letting others look after your baby

I haven’t let anyone look after my son yet, I’m just not ready for it. My fiancé is desperate to have a baby free night but I just don’t feel like it’s right when he isn’t sleeping through the night. He’s still so small and if anything were to happen I’d want to be there with him

Thanks Alice, my other half thinks it's almost not right that I feel this way.... 😔 He thinks it's helping me, but I'm not asking for help! Yes agree with the sleeping through the night, not happened yet. Have you had anyone look after him through the day before without you or fiance present? X

This isn’t a healthy attitude. Occasional separation (if you have a willing volunteer) is good for everyone involved. Gets your baby socialising with others, allows the grand parent and baby to bond, reduces issues with separation anxiety later on, gives you a chance to recharge and it would be lovely for you and your partner to do something alone together. I really don’t think your baby is too young at this point.

I wouldn’t leave him ‘just because’ I totally agree with you. I have left him with his dad a few times (literally just got home from being out at the theatre) and we have had a few date nights/occasions out where my parents have come to watch him. I haven’t left him overnight for a night off or night out. The first one planned is next month for a wedding and I’ll be honest I’m dreading it. I don’t feel the need for someone to look after him or have him for the sake of it, but appreciate the help so we can still enjoy some baby free time x

I don’t think it’s unhealthy at all ❤️ Some mums I know left their babies with grandparents within weeks and others not until 12 months + It’s completely individual - we’re all different and we all parent differently. To be honest I don’t have any desire to leave my LO with anyone but her dad at the moment 🤷🏻‍♀️ She socialises plenty and has no issues being held by others whilst I leave the room for long periods etc. She goes to bed at 7 so my husband and I still enjoy our evenings together and I don’t feel we need to go out to restaurants to do that. We’ve never been the type to go out for dinner much anyway, so don’t feel we’re missing out and we just go out for lunch instead and take her with us. I appreciate there are those who probably went out a lot more than us pre-baby though and therefore want to get back to this which is understandable! We’re just homebodies 😂 Don’t feel pressure to do something you don’t want to do 😘

My little girl has stayed at both grandparents houses twice whilst we’ve had late nights at weddings / birthdays. She goes out for a walk with them for an hour or so a week as well. She will be spending a full day a week with them both when I go back to work so I’ve wanted to make the transition as easy as possible. She is currently on medicine for a hemangioma 3 times a day so she wouldn’t go to anyone to look after only people who we trust and have been shown what to do. The first time she went out for a walk with one of them I cried my eyes out but she gets SO excited when she see’s her grandparents now and she loves going out with them. Why not just suggest a walk, time it so he’s been fed or due nap just to get yourself used to him being out and you know he doesn’t require a feed or anything.

Think it depends how often the person sees baby too. My little boys grandparents don't see him that much (my mum only sees him maybe once every 2 weeks and my in-laws only see him once a month and both for only about an hour), makes me reluctant to have them babysit and it makes me think they barely know him... My little boy will be going to my mums in September for an evening and everytime I think about I feel dread. Some days I even think about cancelling our tickets for the event 😳. It's not an unhealthy attitude to worry about your kid and want to be with them...I certainly didn't have a child to then not spend time with him. He's my bestie 💙💚 x