Visitors rant

My son is 11 weeks. I was prepared to put effort into fostering a good relationship with him and family on both sides but didn't realise it would be this bad. I didn't realise how little people give a sh*t about the mum (and in many ways, the baby himself), as in don't even look at you anymore, like you were just a vessel for the child. People talk about my baby like an object: 'I want a turn'. They can see they are completely overwhelming him with their stupid selfish behaviour. The poor kid gets tossed and bumped around, poorly held, with people yelling in his face. If I give him some time out (which I absolutely try to do when it gets too bad), you can literally see the hatred for me, like I've taken their favourite toy away. They overstay by hours and hours, leaving me exhausted with a totally inconsolable baby. We're talking crying so hard he can hardly breathe. Does anyone else have this or know how to handle?? I absolutely dread certain visitors but I know I can't say no.

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You 100% can say no. You’re the mom. The more you let them bulldoze you the more they are going to continue to do it. If baby needs a break, take the baby. If baby is getting overwhelmed, take the baby. If some one isn’t holding baby right, take the baby. If someone is doing something you don’t like, then TAKE THE BABY. You as the mother need to set boundaries and enforce them. If your family gets butt hurt then that’s on them. They need to respect you as the parent.

@Hailey I soooo needed to hear this. Thank you. I'm so scared of causing WW3, I've been compromising both our wellbeing ❤️

I totally get it girly, I was the same way with my first and I let them walk on me for far too long. By the time I finally set boundaries they treated me like a joke, and when I started enforcing them they all treated me like I was the Devil for ‘suddenly turning on them’. The sooner you set boundaries, and make your expectations clear the sooner it shuts down any of their rebuttals or drama. 🫶🏻

You can and should say no. You also get to remove your baby from these situations. At the end of the day, you’re the one who has to advocate for your baby and their needs. They can all hate you (they can shove it), but you need to look after you and your family ❤️

@Jelena You're so right. I need to remember this in the heat of the moment and not give in when people try to make me feel bad. I've never been very good at standing up to people and am a terrible people pleaser but it's not just about me now ❤️

That’s me and I realised that’s not what i want to role model for my baby. I had some people challenging my boundaries but I stood firmly because I was protecting my baby and I’m so glad i did. You can do it!❤️❤️❤️

I am the same (people pleaser) and just went through this, I stopped answering my phone and only answered messages when it was good for me because, at the end of the day it's just me and him and we need our time right now. I had to remind myself he's so young and doesn't need the overstimulation. People were offended but I had to stand my ground, visitors daily were just too much and I also needed a break. It's also not helpful when they don't listen to requests about my baby. Boundaries are your best friend.

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