Full-time mamas

Hey! I went back work when my daughter was 7 months until she was 2 and now I’m am a SAHM! The best way we did it as I found it hard to adjust to being solely reliant on my husband and he was getting frustrated with me texting him “I’m heading out food shopping, but I’ve seen a top I like.. can I get it too?” He would obviously say yes but he kept saying I didn’t need to ask but I felt like I did!! So he transfers me what we call “my money”or we joke and say it’s my “salary” which I use for going out, day trips, things for myself & daughter, girls night outs etc. it usually is around the same amount so we can make sure we budget for it. Then he also spends me over what we budget monthly for food shopping & necessities for the house and our daughter ontop of that. If I spend it all before he gets paid (which doesn’t usually happen unless we needed a big purchase or something for the house) then I just use his card. Just makes me feel like i also have control too x

@Emilie thank you!! This is so helpful 🥰

@Laurenriley thank you! How do handle things like buying yourself skincare or dinners out with friends or new clothes?

I’m a SAHM to my 22 month old and 4 month old. I was worried about the reliance on my partner but it’s actually been ok! He gives me a set amount each month for food shopping etc and he’s happy for me to spend money on bits I may want as I don’t take the mick, he recently bought be a new (used) car as I now had two babies to cart around but it’s to make the kids and I life easier so it’s all part of it. I would say the only bug bear can be when he’s been at work all day and I’ve had a taxing day with the children and then he won’t help me with dinner just as an example! But I’m so thankful to be able to spend this precious time with my babies 🫶🏻🫶🏻

I’m soooo envious of all of you for being able to stay at home with your babies 🥲 I’ve not even had my baby yet, and even though my boyfriend earns a good wage for his age (he’s only 24), we could never afford for me to stay at home. I’m already worrying about how we’re going to survive on my maternity pay and also what comes after once it comes to an end and I’ll have to go back to work because the cost of nurseries would take my monthly salary so I’d be better off not working at all but couldn’t afford that 😭 obviously don’t have to answer but how do all of you do it, is it just simply because your other halves are on a really good wage?

@Annie this is so helpful thank you!!

@Laurenriley that makes sense. Thank you so much for sharing this was incredibly helpful!

@Dana only way we’ve managed to do it is that we moved out of the UK last year to the Middle East and it’s much higher wages and no tax. My husband earnt good money in the Uk and I worked full time and the only way we managed to afford childcare was that I ran the nursery she went too so got a 50% discount! It was tough xxx

@Dana Hi Dana! It’s totally ok to have those concerns! I cannot speak for the others but in terms of wages I am 34 and have been making 200k per year for around 5 years so I’ve been able to buy a house with a small mortgage and put a lot towards savings. My husband also makes a little more than me and we moved outside of London for a cheaper standard of living so we are able to maintain our lifestyle with just his wage. We have been very fortunate to work in tech which is a lucrative industry.

@Dana a few months before your due, set up a joint UC claim. They may top you up while on leave x

Following as I’m considering becoming a SAHM also! I’m financially independent, plenty of savings but would rather not touch those, and my husband makes good money so I’m seriously considering giving up my full-time job once baby comes. Plus nurseries are so expensive! It doesn’t feel worth it to pay out so much in nursery fees when it would actually work out cheaper to stay at home with baby 🙄