How to tell MIL about baby name

Hi guys, so to try keep this short it has always been my dream to have a daughter and to give her my mams name as her middle name. My partner has always been dead set against middle names, just because he doesn’t like them. Our son doesn’t have one but he has agreed to let me give our daughter my mams name as her middle name just because he knows how much it means to me. He did ask that I let his own mother know before baby comes, purely because she most likely isn’t going to take it well and would probably give him some stick for it unfortunately! Luckily I’ve never had a problem sticking up to her myself in the past so if I tell her then that should mean no complaining. Totally get that it’s our daughter so technically none of her business but she does say she often feels pushed out etc so I’m just looking for some advice on how to actually tell her? Any advice appreciated!

Show your support

Tell her you'd like to share the name with her in advance, make her feel like she's on the inside track!? We aren't telling anyone including parents until our girl is here

I don’t know. To me, telling her in advance makes a bigger deal out of it and gives her time to complain about it, whereas once baby is born you’d hope she’d go with the flow and enjoy the baby. I think it’s a bit unfair of your partner to ask you to have the conversation, to be honest. If it needs to be had, it should be him having it since it’s his mum.

It’s his mum so he should tell her if he cares so much! It’s not fair to put the pressure on you, and also the possibility of a negative reaction which could cause stress. I wouldn’t make a deal of it maybe bring it up in convo if the bubs name gets mentioned but like I said it’s his mum he can tell her.

I mean I guess I get why she would be upset but if roles were reversed she’d probably want her daughter to pass down the family name. At the end of the day she doesn’t get a say. She can choose to be pissy or appreciate it for what it is. And love on her grand baby just the same. Get a cat and name it after her ? 😂 just kidding don’t do that.

I also agree you shouldn’t be the one to have the conversation

I think he’s wanting me to do it just because he doesn’t really agree with it himself but has agreed only because it means so much to me - she’d no doubt give him a really hard time whereas she wouldn’t do that to me (I’ve put her in her place a few times before so it wouldn’t wash with me). I kind of just want to get it over with now rather than be worrying about it when the baby comes - just annoying that she isn’t a bit more laid back in general and will probably make something that’s not about her about her 🙃 I also would rather he had the conversation but I can see why he’s asked me to, although she’s a loving nana she can be very very very hard work - joys!

In that case I just wouldn’t make a big deal of it I’d bring it up as I said If names are topic of convo. But also your partner could just say to her he feels like he has to mention it because he doesn’t want her upset, i think if it’s just mentioned once girly is here then hopefully she’d be so in love with her the name would be the last thing she focuses on!!

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌