Baby’s Last Name

I am not married to my baby’s father, we are on good terms, but I am taking care of everything financial, medical, residential, educational, etc. I am getting induced tomorrow and haven’t been able to officially come to a decision…I am having a baby boy and the father thinks it is SO important for him to have his last name. I am thinking that maybe it would be easier for me if he had my last name, but I can always have the name changed if anything changes between the father and I. We aren’t on bad terms, and we are trying to work things out, but I kind of want this safety net if things go south for any reason. But also, I don’t want him to feel like I am disrespecting him by not giving him his last name… What have you all done? Is anything actually easier if the baby has the same last name as me? Am I being petty and should I just give him his last name to avoid an argument?

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Please use yours! You can change it if you come to the decision. Or put the names together if you really want to. Please don't allow him to pressure you just because it is a cultural norm or because he is asserting dominance. YOU are the one taking care of everything. He fertilized the egg, but you have created and sustained the life and will be the one to continue to do so. It's time for him to step up. I've been there.

I'm with above commenter. Give baby your last name. I gave my now 14 year old daughter her dad's last name because I "thought" we were going to get married, and "thought" we were going to stay together.. When we indeed split when she was just 7 weeks old and I was screwed. One of my most major regrets in life. Say your relationship changes with the father and you guys decide to get married, it's so easy at that point to change baby's last name. But if you give baby his last name now, and things don't pan out the way you thought they would, you would literally need the father's consent to change baby's last name back to yours. Messy. It is definitely easier to have same last name as baby when it comes to school, doctors, activities, etc.

Couldn’t agree more with Tiffany. Unless he’s contributing at least half of everything you just listed, you shouldn’t think twice about giving your baby your last name.

Definitely give baby yours! Baby should always have the default parent’s last name in my opinion.

I agree with everyone. Give the baby yours. You grew it and there is no certainty of your guys future at the moment. I gave my kids their dads last name as we are engaged and I have infertility issues therefore the only kids I’m gonna have is with this one person so if it doesn’t work out at least both my kids have matching last names. Plus I hate my dad therefore not a fan of my last name so it was an easy decision for me. I hope your induction goes well. And somebody here helped you decide!

Please please give the baby your last name... I had my baby a week ago and I REGRET ...REGRET.... giving my baby his last name!

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