I'm asking for clothes this birthday cause she grows so fast. But I did the same thing at Christmas, I said this toy is going home with papaw, this one with us, and the last toy stays at nana's. Maybe you could tell them ahead of time that any toys bought would be staying at their house?
Yeah, that's hard. You could ask them for experiential things and let them know if they want to get a physical gift to check with you first before they get anything to make sure your little one doesn't already have it. That will allow you to gracefully let them know you already have something very similar or that someone else is already getting that. The idea of them keeping things at their place is a great one too!
I am trying something new this year and not sure how it’ll go but I’m doing a trucks and cars theme and said on the invitation “instead of a gift, please bring a picture of your favorite vehicle” and we’re going to make a little book of everyone’s favorite vehicles out of it. The grandparents have already sent their gifts anyway, but I hope it gives everyone else something they can bring that won’t become clutter 🤷♀️