IVF after a break up
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I would talk to the clinic about what the protocol is for that embryo, they likely will not allow you to proceed unless he signs off on it. I would also just make sure that you are legally divorced (if you’re married) before a potential birth. Even if he’s not genetically the donor it’s a legal mess with him being legally the father otherwise.
@Tabitha I didn’t know about Laura High, but I have a lot to think through before moving on to a donor. The issue for me is I have diminished ovarian reserve and so the work I have done to up the quality of my eggs means I need to retrieve them sooner rather than later.
@Jennifer is there an option to freeze your eggs for you to go through this (already very fraught under the best of circumstances) process at a time when you’ve had more time and distance to make a decision?
@Christin I spoke to the clinic today and I would need to have him consent to use the embryo. Not sure if I want to complicate my life that way at this time. We weren’t married, so happily a break up is not going to involve lawyers.
@Tabitha My fertility endocrinologist seemed to think my chances of conception would be much lower freezing my eggs, and my insurance will not cover it. At the very least I would not transfer any embryo right away. Distance from the feelings is definitely needed.
@Jennifer I hope you find a way through this. It sounds incredibly difficult. My only advice is ensure you’re prepared if you do go down the donor conception route because there’s a lot that nobody tells intended parents about the reality of that industry. I’d also look into a therapist for a neutral sounding board.
I think he would need to consent your ex, re sperm bank we got recommended cryobank by our clinic and currently pregnant with one of the donors sperm
I would consult a lawyer well versed in reproductive law in your jurisdiction to figure out what your legal options and rights are to that embryo. I’d also look into donor conceived advocates like Laura High before going down that path and educating yourself thoroughly before going down that path. Either way, you have a lot of really heavy choices in front of you and I’m sorry it’s come to this for you.