How did you know you was one and done?

I grew up with 3 sisters, my sister then went to have two boys then boy/girl twins. I never actually wanted children (not yet anyway, not til I was like 25). I had my first child at 19 (March 2023) and I am now almost 37 weeks with our unexpected baby. I genuinely thought I was one and done but life just seemed to have other plans and I’m a firm believer that everything happened for a reason (if it happens it happens)! He recognises am pregnant and loves his sister already even in utero, so I have no doubt that they are going to be the best of friends x

I’m feeling the exact same. I want to still live our lifestyle, enjoy life and not go through this sleep deprivation the difficulties all over again/didn’t find being pregnant enjoyable at all. It’s such a tough decision. I think I’m going to wait until he’s 2 and reassess but I’d prob need him to be starting preschool first x

I just knew once he was here that I couldn't do what I was doing for him as a small baby while also looking after a toddler/small child and working enough to earn the money we need to pay our bills. I had him at 35 so haven't got the option to wait until he's considerably older. We'd also have to move house as my husband and I both work from home a lot so we'd need four bedrooms or more rooms downstairs so we could still have an office and I really like our current house, which we only bought a couple of years ago so I'm not ready to sell it, also the larger houses around here are at least 50-75k more than what we paid for this one so we'd be paying the mortgage for the rest of our lives. I love our life as it is, and maybe that makes me selfish but the hard times are hard enough as it is at the moment so I don't want to make them any harder. Also we have talked about possibly fostering or adopting in the future if we changed our minds/our circumstances changed.

I know that for me personally I'm not capable of giving my daughter the attention and affection she needs if I've got another little person who needs me 24/7. My stress levels would go through the roof too and I don't want her picking that up and internalising it. She's such a happy lovely toddler and I enjoy our relationship so much, I don't want to change it. I know a second baby might have a completely different temperament and I may struggle (with my daughter she's been a dream). I also know that even if she had a sibling it doesn't mean they'd have a good relationship or have someone to lean on - it might be completely the opposite and they'd have been better off as an only child. I do have a sibling and can't imagine life without her. But due to genetics or life experiences things could have been very different and full of negative experiences instead. I can't just assume that by having a 2nd child I'm giving her a friend for life, or even someone positive etc 🤷‍♀️

It’s so early. I didn’t want another one until my eldest was about 2. I’m glad we waited as we have a 4 year age gap and it’s great. People I know with a 2 year gap generally find it very hard at the start. Don’t rush. Your finances may be different in a year and / or you may feel really broody. Or maybe not. Your LO will have a lovely life with or without a sibling because you are his parent. If this is something you are thinking about, you are clearly a great mum and will make sure he has a wonderful childhood.

I’d like a second child as I was an only child myself and would love a sibling for my son but I’m 36 this year, we couldn’t afford to have 2 in nursery now and I don’t want to be an older mum if we wait. We’ve also been really lucky that our son is generally quite easy going and been sleeping through the night since he was about 6 weeks old. I feel with a second child we might not be so lucky and I’m too old to be up all night 🙈 at least with 1 we can focus on him and spoil him in a non bratty way.

Thank you all!xx