Baby’s last name

What about a double barrel name? That way it won't get complicated for the child having to declare a previous name on every form. Totally up to you though - Mum knows best!

@Sarah my last name already is double barrelled of both my parents last names because my mom didn’t want to drop her last name when she got married 😅 My sister was born 6 years before my parents married and had only my mother’s last name. I on the other hand was born 9 months before they got married so I had both last names at birth.

I have one daughter from a previous relationship and she has my last name as dad decided not to be involved, I had another daughter last year and decided she would have my last name too, as I wanted her to share the same last name as her big sister. My 2nd daughters dad wasn’t overly happy about this, but I didn’t give him much choice, for me, I wanted my 2 kids to have my last name (he has 2 kids from a previous and they have his last name) I am now pregnant with my 3rd and this baby will also have my last name and this is something I will not budge on. I’ve grown them and birthed them.. we both take part in deciding first name and middle name, but as we’re not married and my eldest has my last name, my children will share it too. My older sister has a different dad and she had my mum last name and I always hated the fact that I didn’t have their name x

@Jodi my partner isn’t exactly amused with the idea but I’ve got him to be less moody about it and just accept it as it’s what I’ve always said while we were trying, it’s like for some reason he thought once it became a reality I would change my mind. I’ve told him if we have a boy he can keep his family tradition where the first boy has their dad’s first name as their middle name so he still has something from his family. I think it’s such a lovely thing for you and your children to have the same last name. If you and your partner get married will you change yours and the children’s last names or stick with your last name?

I just try not to talk about it with him, but he knows now he won’t change my mind. When I was last pregnant he got very shitty about it and really sulked. But I just explained how important it was for me for her to have my last name and her big sisters last name. And that was that. This time he’s tried saying that if the baby is a boy he needs to have his last name, but i disagree. And baby will have my last name regardless. My partners mum changed his name by deed pole when he was younger from his dad’s name to her maiden name, but she’s since got married and has his siblings name. So he doesn’t even technically have his families name as nobody is left in his family with that name apart from him. That’s a really nice tradition! I’d just stick to your guns if I were you. Try not to mention it again until nearer the time 😂🙈 No I will keep our names if we got married, as I wouldn’t change my oldest daughters name, so would like to keep everyone’s the same. X

@Jodi I don’t get why the baby being possibly being a boy changes anything either way wouldn’t it be nicer for them all to have the same last name. Going based on the fact he’s the only one with his last name he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on unless he’s trying to start his own family name from scratch with his children 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m definitely going to stick with what I want after talking with you. I was so unsure as I already had people question me and my friend got judged a lot for giving her baby her last name not his dads. I think the conversation will come up again with my partner when we find out the gender as if it’s a girl the name will be the name I chose, my nans name as the middle name and my last name. I’m sure he will be arsey that none of the babies name has anything to do with him. If it is a boy I’m sure he will be okay as long as his name is the middle name. That’s completely understandable hun!

I’m divorced yet still have my married name as my older 3 children have that name. When we had our little girl we double barrelled our surnames so she has both our names and same name to the older siblings too so I completely understand to why you want baby to have your surname too. Do what you feel is right

@Lorraine I would’ve double barrelled it had my name not already been double barrelled 😅

That's perfectly reasonable. Do you know what surname you would have if you got married? I suppose as long as that's agreed upon and he knows that when the times come you will change to a family name. As it is both your child but ultimately you do have "the power" in this situation, just validate his feelings and be as respectful as possible. It's a silly social rule but it is one that he is used to and his friends and family may not understand. It's social pressure at the end of the day and maybe the way forward is to agree and not really discuss it in front of friends and family nobody in my life needs to know my daughters surname only docs, bank or if I book a holiday. Maybe if they want to give them a cheque but mostly that goes into my account and then I transfer

I feel like changing a child’s surname could be very confusing for their sense of self as they get older. If you’re going to change your name anyway at some point then is there really any point in them having your name for a short time if it won’t continue anyway? If you never planned on getting married I would understand keeping the name,and of course it’s completely your choice and nothing to do with me,but I would seriously consider thoughts on changing your child’s surname part way through their life

@Sarah my sister has never had any issue with her name being changed as she says it’s just a surname and shown our mom was strong on her thoughts. Yes I hope to marry my partner but who’s to say something won’t happen and we split up? What if god forbid he cheated or decided one day to just leave? I wouldn’t want my child to have his last name had that happen. As I always get told we’re only young who knows what may happen in the future we may not end up getting married until we’re in our late 30s and at that point we will have a preteen so it may not be “a short time”. I’ve always been taught to think of every possibility and outcome. My friend gave her son her last name she didn’t expect her boyfriend to up and leave one day without saying anything but he did

As I said,it’s completely your decision,I was just giving another point of view. You’re gonna get that when posting on an open forum, not everyone will feel the same that’s all. The decision is ultimately down to you

Because a boy would carry on his name and apparently it’s “just the done thing and traditional” 😂 as a girl may get married and change her name. You do you hun!

I told my partner ages ago that if he won't marry me then the baby will have my surname. He says we are for life and if we are then why not get married? For me also this would be a problem as I am Polish and baby with a different surname than mine, I would have to have him applying for passports with me as well and also carrying baby's birth certificate and a written right from the father to take the baby abroad if I'd like to go abroad or visit my family and I am not having that. He knows and he had to agree with me. He's thinking of a small wedding now as can't think of why his surname will not last😅

@Jodi my lord 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

@Ewa my mom mentioned about the traveling with a different surname it just seems much easier to give the baby the mothers last name I don’t understand why the tradition is the man’s last name it seems very patriarchal and old fashioned in my eyes. I’m glad your partner is understanding with it all

My fiancé has 3 surnames so give baby both

@Kat how long is his surname because mine alone is that long it doesn’t fit in the boxes allocated for surnames 😅

Yeh he gets that problem with some forms not all 🤣!! When we have our baby they will have my surname and one of his but that’s because he has one he much prefers and has more meaning x

Our baby is going to have my surname as it means far more to us then my partners, we’ve discussed this and he is more then happy for this to happen. I wouldn’t let anyone get to you, you do what’s best for you and your family. Nothing else matters 🤍