This is IVF

I am there with you ❤️ I have not been in a good headspace the whole cycle (first). It was shocking how hard it is, and I have full respect for you being on your 3rd cycle. You're incredibly strong to get this far. I have my first transfer today, I thought I'd feel really happy but instead scared of getting my hopes up and being let down. I don't know you but I'm here for you x

Oof. Been there. When I was at my most anxious, my husband told me this story about when he was doing his driving lessons. He would grip the steering wheel so tightly because it gave him the illusion of control over the car. The instructor had to remind him to loosen his grip - the car will still drive the same. And that was me: clinging to the steering wheel for dear life. 😖 I think it’s really unfair how there’s this culture around IVF and fertility that women have (or should have) some influence on the outcome. Like, if you take these supplements and do this acupuncture and pray nightly to the goddess Fallopia, that you’ll somehow be able to ‘win’ at IVF. And the truth is so much of it comes down to genetics, age and sheer dumb luck. Our own ability to influence the outcome is basically non-existent. So all I can say is this: keep the faith. Be kind to yourself. Meditate when you feel anxious and scared. Stay open to all possible futures. SLEEP. And remember to hydrate. ❤️

😢 My heart goes out to you. I’ve also been there and it’s all consuming and actually really scary. You feel like you’re constantly on the sidelines of life and I don’t think you ever get used to the unknown, or the anxiety around it. If anything I think it builds and can feel bigger over time. I often described it being the opposite experience of “typical” grief — it doesn’t get smaller or more manageable over time. It gets bigger, and harder... and look, here you are, resilient and determined, despite being triggered and scared, still alway pressing on. I believe IVF creates some of the most amazing mamas, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that third time is a charm for you 🍀

@Lauren thank you, best of luck with the transfer x

Mate I am here with you, I’m on day 6 of stims and first 3 days I felt amazing, then I started feeling full on covid level fluey. Was resting and coping but today suddenly I am so scared, partly that this is really happening at all now and partly that it might not work and partly that it feels like it is all up to me and I’ll somehow fuck it up. I keep trying to remember it’s all down to the drugs now and just like, lie back and trust the science but it is difficult. It’s all a head duck and we’ve just got to be kind to ourselves where we can.

I feel this. I had my collection today was more than last time ( last time 2 this time 5) I was happy to hear I got 5 . But now I remember the waiting game … everything being in everyone else’s hands but my own. Waiting for that call to see how many fertilized if any .Then another wait to hear how May make it to embryos.. if any …. Then the wait to hear if that day you have a blastocyst to transfer .. Doesn’t stop there .. then you get there .. wait to hear the quality .. If you make it this far .. you now do a 2 week wait .. everyday stopping yourself from testing .. like a bad habit you hahad to push yourself to give up and it causes anxiety and you just want to know but you also don’t want to know . No one gets this until they have gone through it . My one blastocyst didn’t take last time and In moments terrified it won’t take again. So I get this . The days or moments that just feel overwhelming with the what ifs. But we are bloody strong and we will pick ourselves up again!

I’m in the same situation. I had egg collection yesterday, got 6 eggs but only 2 fertilised last night so going for double embryo transfer tomorrow all being well that they develop tonight. I feel so crappy about it. I was hoping that we would have at least 1 to freeze to give us a better chance but my eggs are literally all in 1 basket right now 😔 wishing you luck ✨✨

@Chloé I know how you feel and it sucks ☹️ best of luck with your transfer, mines on Monday all being well one actually makes it

@Amelia me too !