Surnames

For people who don’t share a surname with the father of their baby, what did you decide on for the surname? My husband is dead set on using his surname but I didn’t change my name after we got married because a) His older sister has the same first name as me so he’s actually asking me to drop my current identity for a name already in use and b) I’m a scientist with published papers and networking is a big thing so I wouldn’t change it professionally anyway. I didn’t care about this before the baby was born but now I feel so sad and detached at naming the baby something I don’t relate to on any level. I’m wondering about pushing for a double barrelled name and then changing mine to match but not sure he would agree to that (our surnames don’t sound amazing together) and stupidly I agreed to using his surname before the baby was born when it didn’t matter to me.

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Same situation here and we made my surname his middle name

@Emily That’s not a bad shout! I’m still slightly concerned that it will be an issue with me not having the same name but maybe if I then also double barrel mine…

We hyphenated. We aren’t married yet but are engaged and I don’t want to change my name for the same professional reasons as you. Our son has both of our surnames.

My son has both surnames without a hyphen, this is how is used in South America (I'm colombian) and I never changed my surname for identity reasons.

I've given the Dads surname and kept mine as is. We are getting married so soon we will all be the same but I see youtmr point if you are an academic with papers etc. Maybe just use hyphen if hubby agrees x

Thought we were using the 2 but then he said to use mine 😊

My baby has my surname ( we prefer the sound of it ) and we are still together! Xx

Me and baby daddy aren't married but we agreed on double barrelling our surnames for our baby. My legal last name is Love so the order of the surnames is rather important I'd say 😅

I used a double barrell for my first child's (different partner) - but for my girl I just gave her dad's surname. I figured she's still my child regardless and it doesnt really change anything in my eyes 🤷‍♀️ it depends how much it means to you personally 😊

We got engaged on New Year’s Eve so when we get married I’ll take my partners name, so baby has dad’s surname. I probably would feel differently if, like you, academically it wouldn’t make sense to change my surname. On the flip side I’m a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to surnames and think even if I wasn’t to marry baby should have dad’s surname. I wouldn’t like to take that away from him. Double barrel could be a good idea x

Baby girl has Dad's surname and we're not married... I'm still holding out hope for a ring 🤣

Both my Bambi's have dad's surname. I'm the only one with a different one. Makes me a bit sad but he was adamant they had his name. Tradition... 🙄

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