Imo definitely don't name your child something you don't like. You're going to be saying it like a million times every day. Sorry but you literally made the baby - your choice!! I think offering for it to be middle name is a huge kindness and not second best. For my baby, we went with a name we both agreed on for first name and then a name that meant something (named after my cousin) for the middle name. All of my family use the middle name for this kind of sentimental reason so def not second best. Hope you find one you both agree on, good luck! Xx
My son has my dads name as a middle name I felt it wasn’t right for us not to have a choice in the first name it’s not second best for the name my partner had a girl family member who passed that he wanted to use so with having a girl this time were using that as a middle name I find it’s a nice thing as a memeoru especially if the person isn’t here anymore But don’t name your child a name you don’t like it’s your both baby you’ve got to agree on the same
Personally I really don’t like naming a child after someone. (specifically first name) They’re their own person and need their own name. I’d be all for using it as a middle name though, and don’t see that as second best. If you don’t like each other’s top 2 then scrap all of them and look for one you both like. We also had a surprise and were 100% sure on a girls name but so stuck for a boy. We ended up having a boy! It was still difficult to pick when he was born (we had a few names but not 100% sure on any of them) but he’s 3 weeks now and the name feels right