Shush presents

I have a feeling gifts/presents my husband gives me are what I call “shush presents/gifts”. What I mean is that I usually recieve small or large gifts (varies really) but I feel they’re in response to me being u happy about something in our relationship or life and it being a way to …make it all better? Like I’ll complain about not having a break from kids and he will bring me home pastries. Or I’ll complain that he’s not taking enough time off for new baby and he will gift me a large gift (thermomix). Not that I don’t love the gift or him thinking about how I’m feeling but I do feel it’s a kind of shush… don’t complain here’s stuff to make it better. Anyone experienced something like this?

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Gift giving is probably his love language and he’s trying to love you in his love language instead of yours

@Tracey what I thought first too! But when I give him gifts 🎁 (cause I’m a gift giver) he hates it! Says he doesn’t want it etc so I’ve stopped gifting … does it mean his love language has changed and is now gift giving ?

Take a five love languages test. Both of you

No this means he SHOWS his love by gift giving but his own love language (how he receives feeling loved) is NOT gift giving which means his receiving love language is one of the other options 😊

He probably feels bad that you have moments of struggle and wants to get you things he thinks you'll like, and get enjoyment out of. Or as others have said, probably his love language

@Lauralea I never thought it didn’t go both ways 😂 well damn

Yep! My giving love language is gifts/acts of service and my receiving love language is words/touch/time 😊

I'm not HUGE on receiving gifts/acts of service as the most impactful/meaningful ways that I feel loved by my partner (though I've grown to appreciate them more as I've matured).

It's his love language I guess but he should combine the gift with addressing the actual issue rather than just giving a gift. It's nice but doesn't relate to the problem

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