Step mamma

Just be yourself keep playing with them and doing things with them and eventually they will come around. My stepson is 10 I’ve been around since he was 3 took him a bit to warm up to me. But I’m also a stepdaughter and I love my stepdad tons and all he did was prove he’d be there if I needed him and was just a positive extra parent in my life! He’s the best! It’s hard kids sometimes feel like you’re a replacement or place their anger on the situation onto you. It’s a tough situation for everyone! Patience, understanding, and positivity is key also consistency along with a bit of love and support! Hang in there it gets better!!!!

It takes a long time especially if anyone is badmouthing you so I would just keep doing what you are doing and set some rules and boundaries

@Ally yea there 10 and 12 I've been in there life for almost three years

Depending how long they’ve been around you and their age and if they’re around someone that doesn’t like you and speak ill of you around them. it’ll continue to happen and every time it’ll take them a min to warm up to you. Mostly takes time and consistency. What I did with my 3y/o SS is showing attention, care, love, gave quality time, respect, show/let him know his voice is being heard. 2 weeks later he started calling me momma even though I tell him to call me Shoni 😞 it can be tricky sometimes because his mom and my miL has a prob with it.

@Shianne they back talk me and make me feel like the bad guy

@Amber you could also try asking them outright. I’ve had conversations with my stepson about things we both can do differently to move forward so that everyone’s happier! I also do this with my bio kids. My stepson lives with us full time and we’ve definitely had some rough patches with behavior and at times I’ve been placed in the role of “wicked stepmother” in his eyes lol. There’s ups and downs always but it does get better!

@Ally thanks 😊 I'll definitely be trying that

@Amber at that age they just need more time to really see that you care and not just for show like most step parents or maybe they just wish things were different. It literally just takes time for them to open up and respect develops over time 3 years is nothing preteens it can be pretty rough. As long as they know no matter what you’re always there for them eventually they’ll come around when they really need someone

@Amber you’re welcome I hope it helps!

I would honestly take it with a grain of salt. Stop trying. Just do your thing and know that your self worth won’t be put down on the account of his kids. You not going anywhere whether they like it or not so either they start respecting you as the mother of the house or don’t expect you doing anything for them.

@Amber I would definitely set rules like my rules are if they are being extremely rude to me that they have a punishment like time out or no outside for 10 minutes. My 2 stepsons sometimes will be extremely rude or even call me names and the only thing that has help is disciplining them for those behaviors.

@Shianne thanks 😊 I'll try that one too.

@Apryl the bio mom is something else I honestly have nothing nice to say about her or to her

Patience and sticking around no matter what. I was awful to my step dad for a few years, he never left and treated me like his own. He's my world 🌎 may have taken a few years, but it was worth it in the end :-) The respect and love I have for this man is enormous. He never tried to replace my dad and always encouraged me to have a relationship with him even when he never showed up. X

@🐻 I get it

My stepkids were like that in the beginning. Aside from a LOT of time and effort on my part, one thing that helped me was my husband stepping up telling them that I was going to be around, I wasn’t replacing their mom, but that they owed me the same respect. It’s been a lot better since then. Not that we don’t have our days - we definitely do.